Thursday, March 5, 2009

HRM Interviews Helen on...

I have decided because of popular request (meaning that Beth and Sherri are popular), to invite myself to sit down to another interview. My friends seem interested in the time I spent considering becoming a nun, so I thought I would ask myself about that. It isn't as exciting as it sounds. I didn't do it. So let us begin.
HRM: Good morning! Don't you look all .....puffy today.
Helen: The swelling went down. I am doing better. I will never go barefoot again, even if I get blisters and they hurt in my shoe.
HRM: Well, I see you are wearing velour sweats again. Are you afraid of what I might ask? Are you thinking you may need to runaway?
Helen: Runaway? With these swollen ankles? You have to be out of your mind! I am in this chair until the water pills start working their magic, and then you can just tidy this interview up all by yourself. Besides. Notice that this outfit is green? It is in honor of Sherri from A Matter of Fact. featuring me today on her blog. I thought I would spruce myself up a bit in case any of her friends visited.
HRM: Yeah, I considered fixing the blog up a bit, but I couldn't make the header on the picture bigger.
Helen: You might want to begin this interview before the Lasix kicks in..
HRM: So... You told us a few weeks ago, on your 25 Random Things About Me List, that at one time, you had considered becoming a nun. Why?
Helen: Actually, HRM, you are the one that told everyone.
HRM: Semantics. Just answer the question please.
Helen: Well,it seems kind of silly, naive, and immature now. I didn't really have a calling. I just thought that perhaps my lack of success in the Romance department might be because God had something else in mind for me, and I thought I should prayerfully consider it.
HRM: So you broke up with a boyfriend...
Helen: Oh no. That's just it. I never really had a real boyfriend. I had male friends, all who thought of me as a sister. I believe that they did, rather than just telling me malarky, because I actually heard arguments where they said such to other guys.
HRM: Huh?
Helen: Okay. For instance. I was a good eavesdropper when I was working at McDonald's, and I overheard one of the really hot guys say he was going to ask me out. A couple of the guys (my friends), said something along the lines of "No your not. We know how you treat the girls you go out with, and you won't do that to Helen. She is like a younger sister to us!", and then proceeded to threaten him quite embarrassingly (for him).
HRM: And you were okay with this interference?
Helen: Look, I knew that boys talked about ....stuff. I didn't want to be fodder for more talk. If this guy was really bad news, his friends (my friends) would know it. Why shouldn't I appreciate their interference?
HRM: What about feminine pride?
Helen: I guess I was proud to have friends who cared enough to keep me from getting hurt. And it's not like Mr. Hot Stuff said "I wouldn't treat her like that." He said, "Okay, I won't ask her, jeeesh...", so it's not like he saw me as special.
HRM: I see. And from this you determined that maybe you should be a nun?
Helen: Not exactly. There were other incidents of me eavesdropping and hearing the same sorts of .....conversations
between different guys in college, etc... Yet these guys saw me as a sister, not someone they wanted to date. I saw a pattern. I mean, how do we address nuns? As sister. So I started thinking that that was my sign.
HRM: So what did you do?
Helen: I gave God a deadline.
HRM: You did what?!
Helen: I gave God a deadline. One year for a boyfriend with no effort from me to go looking for him, or I would start checking out convents. I also prayed for guidance. It's not like I held God hostage.
HRM: Don't you think ultimatums with God is blasphemous.
Helen: It can be if you are like "Give me what I want by Christmas, or I stop teaching Sunday School." But a timeline to go down another path because you don't know where he is calling you...well, misguided possibly, but not blasphemous.
HRM: So you met Bob when?
Helen: When the year was almost over. You see, a couple of years before, my cousin asked me if I'd be interested in a blind date with her best friend's cousin. I said sure, what've I got to lose. But for various reasons he wasn't interested until then. I felt that I had to meet with him because for one thing, I did tell my cousin okay even if it was a couple of years before, and no fair closing the door before the deadline was up. I did mention to God that we were pretty close to the deadline, so if He wanted me to be married, this guy (Bob) had better be the one. And he was and is and will be until I am dead and these things no longer matter.
HRM: Any chance of you telling us how you knew Bob was the one?
Helen: Of course, I'd be glad to. But not today. I think this is more than enough information about me for one day...
HRM: Lasix kicking in?
Helen: Tell everyone bye for me, and thank them for visiting.
HRM: Will do. On behalf of Me, Myself, and I, I would like to thank Sherri for featuring us today, my cyber friends for joining us today, and Sherri's friends, who I hope to get to know better, for visiting today. Please leave a comment, even if it is about velour.


Michelle said...

Great interview Helen!!

I am kinda glad you didn't become a nun, for then you may have never started this blog and I would never have "met" you!!!


katdish said...

YAY! I love when HRM interviews Helen. Just wanted to say that. Now I'm actually going to read the post...

Sherri Murphy said...

I love these interviews!

Intersting, thought provoking and funny- you need your own show Helen!

The Lasix will have to wait until after the show!

(Sorry ,the post didn't come up till this morning when I awoke and saw it had saved it as a draft instead of publish the last time I obsessively checked it.)

Sherri Murphy said...

Your blog name is in Pete Wilson's "headline". I tried to leave a comment twice, but it wouldn't take it! Please read the email I sent you.

Helen said...

Michelle, I am happy I married Bob too. Although nuns are allowed to blog. Sister Mary Martha is on my blogroll.
Katdish, Thanks. Me, Myself, and I, appreciate that.
Sherri, I really don't know how interviewing myself on a live show could work. I would need an excellent director. For now, I think these interviews work best in printed form.
I sometimes have trouble with scheduled posting myself. I think sometimes blogger is fickle. Thank you for featuring me.

Beth said...

I think you were extremely mature to not go out with jerks and respect your friends' opinions. Looks like God honored that in a big way!! Great story. I wish I had been more like that...I had to go live in another country before God could get my attention at all about this kind of thing. Then I finally decided to wait until God brought me someone worth dating. Cue Frank a few months later.

And this may be one of the only times in history I've been called popular! Does this mean I have to put on makeup??

Ryan B said...

That is a very awesome story Helen. Thanks for sharing. Giving God an ultimatum. Haha.

Helen said...

Ryan, I am lucky God has a sense of humour, aren't I? I mean, it's not like He was quaking in His boots when I gave Him a year to find me a man.
Beth, you are so sweet. Yeah, God did protect me with those friends, didn't He? At the time, I didn't feel so much protected as I felt like there was no happy medium. If I behaved in the way I thought was right, I was "sisterly". If I let myself be taken advantage of, well, why would I want that. I felt like my problem was that I couldn't finesse a medium, and thought that maybe there was another reason for that.
And amoung the Magnificent 8, you ARE really popular! You are probably popular at FOTTSP, too!

Sherri Murphy said...

Helen, I don't see comments from my peeps , but my feedjit thingy shows MANY click throughs to your site so maybe their just shy. I hope they'll return and leave you a big long comment! said...

It is always interesting, these stories of people who have "bargained" with God, or had some kind of deal with God over marriage. People make lists, and then God gives them someone who fits their list exactly. It's amazing!

I know I will find someone too. I'm not into making a detailed list. It's like when you say "surprise me!" I want God to surprise me. He knows what I need.

I'm not exactly inclined to make a bargain, either. I don't feel like I need to prove anything. I have always known I was meant for marriage.

But I think your story is very cool. Things in the kingdom work so differently than in the world.

Another thing that marks the kingdom differently is people in God's kingdom see the person they are going to marry and know it the first time they see them. This happened when my dad saw my mom.

Another thing that operates differently is age. The world says that by a certain age you will most likely not get married. In the kingdom, you have just become ready to get married, and so it is even more likely to happen!

You said we should comment on velour. What would we say about velour? Smooth, very smooth?

Helen said...

First of all, I don't actually recommend doing what I did. God was good to me, perhaps in spite of , not because of. Besides, God doesn't work by formula.

As for bargaining, I am not sure if that word works. "O.K. God, give me a husband, or I become a nun." That would be an insult to the many women who were called to serve God through celebacey and sisterhood. I merely did not know how to go about discerning, so I threw my thoughts out there. When God was done laughing, He sent me Bob.

Debbie said...

I really enjoy your site! You are a wonderful writer! So glad Sherri introduced us...:)

Helen said...

Thank you, Debbie. Sherri is a great gal, isn't she?