The Idea of Love, Sacrifice, and How it Relates to Lent

Yesterday I posted an essay about sacrifice, which I linked to Peter Pollock's blog carnival.

I ended that post with the statement " Love prompts us to meet someone else's need, even when it has a dear cost."

Which brings me to the question, what need do we meet when we sacrifice during Lent (which begins March 9).   God has no need of anything from us.  Why give up anything?   The answer my heart comes up with is to meet our own need to show our love.   Did you ever notice how children don't keep their love bottled in, but show it, whether it is in hugging a parent, drawing a picture for a teacher, or pulling the hair of the girl in front of them?   They just can't keep it inside!

That is how our love for God needs to be (and I don't mean to suggest that Lent is the ONLY time we should do this, any more than Christmas is the only time we are to be in awe of the Incarnation.):  we need to love Him so much that we must show Him our love!  How does giving up donuts do that?   Well, if we have become so enamored of that donut that we miss it if we don't have it in the morning, isn't it a lovely gift to give to Him?   Doesn't it say "YOU, Lord, are the sweetest thing in my life! "  ? What if we don't like donuts?   Then it isn't a sacrifice, is it?

But the point here is love.   How big the sacrifice isn't the point.    There is no big or small in this.   Giving up a morning cup of tea would be hardly anything to me, but very difficult for someone else, while cutting my computer time in half would give me fits, and hardly noticeable to someone else.  Giving up alcohol was difficult last year, when it seemed I needed a bit of whiskey in my tea to fall asleep, while this year I haven't had any since I drank a glass of wine on New Year's Eve.

 If I gave up food and water for forty days, I'd die, and I still wouldn't in any way, shape, or form repay God for His sacrifice, anyway, so though I owe Him everything, there is no point acting from obligation, but from love. 

While I don't mean to deny the penitential nature of Lent, I would submit that, again, we are only penitent because we have learned to LOVE, and regret unloving actions of the past.   We can't make up for those unloving actions at all, but can show that we DO love now by sacrifice.

What do I cherish that I can give to Him during Lent's forty days because I love Him?   I have until March 9 to talk this over with Him and decide.

It's the Middle of Lent....

I know, I was bad. I wasn't supposed to say what I was doing for Lent, but I did. I told you all I was going to do eco atkins, so I guess it is only fair to tell you, I failed on the eco part. You see, eco atkins is vegetarian atkins. It wasn't working because I was feel all sick and week. I know, sounds like an excuse, but I had to ask myself, why was I doing a diet for Lent. Was it vanity? Perhaps partly. I can't lay claim to entirely pure motives. Ever. But my pastor said that I shouldn't let that keep me paralyzed from doing any good at all. He said the devil just loves that. (I know, I told you all I hate talking about him. The devil. Not my pastor. But my pastor doesn't go talking about Stan all the time. Actually, hardly ever, so I have to listen when he does.) My problem, in the big picture, is lack of energy. I lack energy because I have too much weight to carry around. I would have too much weight to carry around if I lost half of my body weight, which makes trying overwhelming sometimes. Especially since those couple of weeks I went on an 800 Calorie a day diet, and gained five pounds. That was when I knew I was in Hell, but I digress. I decided to put the power of Lent behind me this time, as I tried yet another diet, in the hopes that even a little weight loss would increase my energy level even a little. Then maybe I could do something tangible that God is calling me to do. Something that helps others, and by others, I mean others beyond the scope of my own self interest.
So, when my energy level actually decreased, I adjusted the plan to regular atkins, with two meatless days during the week. I had considered upping it to three, but decided to just let my body adjust to this for now. Have I lost any weight? I don't know. I decided that if the purpose was vanity, then I shouldn't have done this for Lent (but if I didn't do it for Lent, I think I would have been too discouraged to continue by now). If the purpose is energy, like I have asserted, then the scale won't measure that, will it?
I do feel more lively. Is it the diet? Is it the new mattress? Is it new shoes (feet less swollen now, BTW)? Is it better weather?
Who knows? For now, I have to keep on keepin' on.
Sorry Sherri. I know you must be disappointed in me, talking about my Lenten journey with this and all.
How do I feel about the no flour, potatoes, sugar, or rice thing? Kinda like the singer in the video, without the lovely voice....

Remembering Dignity When Showing Mercy

"this Lent I need to incorporate remembering the dignity of the person as I attempt to grow in mercy." That is more or less how I ended yesterday's post. (And how cool is that that I can quote myself?) I spent many moments yesterday envisioning what that would look like. The face that kept coming to my mind is my cousin's. We will call her Lavergne. That is not her name. I just like the name Lavergne. Okay, seriously, she hates attention, and if she reads my blog, she will hate seeing her own name. If she reads my blog with the fake name, she will just end up wondering why I never introduced me to a cousin she has so much in common with.
My cousin "Lavergne" is so shy, she couldn't take pictures at her own sister's baby shower. She was afraid people would be looking at her. She also had that fear when she stood up at people's weddings, but I was able to convince her that people stare at the bride, not the bridesmaids. Don't pat me on the back. I suspect that is why she never got married to her boyfriend of a couple of decades. She can't reconcile herself to a wedding where people will stare at her, or disappoint a family who is expecting a big wedding.
So, why do I picture her face as the picture of mercy and dignity? Well, it is hard to explain. It is not as if she was our own little Mother Theresa. St. Francis maybe. She loves animals. She wouldn't let her boyfriend, Josh (another fake name, yes) turn on the air conditioning when birds built a nest on it. She didn't want the baby birdies disturbed. He tried to convince her to let him move the nest. She was worried that mamma birdie wouldn't find them, or that a cat would get them. So, they suffered. It was a hot summer. Not Texas hot. Just hot for us. She feeds the squirrels. She feeds the birds. She goes to the park to feed God's little creatures.
And that, my friends, is where mercy and dignity come in. You see, while being delivery girl to tweety and sweety, she made some new human friends. These human friends are the homeless men who live in the park. She just made friends with them, which is weird to me, because she is so shy, and afraid of everyone. She can't ride a bus, for fear of strangers, but she can talk to homeless men in the park. Her logic is that they aren't strangers. She sees them everyday when she feeds the birds. Except now, she may bring them a sandwich, coffee, or a blanket. They have conversations. They may mention being cold. Voila! She gets them a blanket. They mention having their blanket stolen. Voila! She gets another blanket. (And when she was telling me about it, she felt as sorry for the guy who had to steel a blanket as she did for her friend who had it stolen). They may mention not being able to find something to eat. Voila! She gets them something. They may mention a need for socks, or....you get the picture.
Now, it is true that this help isn't exactly getting them off the street. But if everyone who walked through that park, or sat to watch the squirrels chase each other, talked to these men instead of avoiding their eyes, what then?
Not one of us has to save anyone. Christ already did that. But if all of us treated these men as men instead of as if they were invisible, together we would make a difference. And we could do it with dignity, because we would do it out of love and friendship. Not for anything else.
I love you, "Lavergne". I didn't really think I would ever see you as a role model when I grabbed the camera from you at your sister's baby shower and took the pictures while you were busy being shy, but I do. You do more for those homeless men with one conversation and a pair of socks than any of your relations do writing a check. I am proud to be your cousin. If you are reading my blog post today, come on and claim me with your real name in the comment section. I am proud of you and would love to really share you, name and all, with my cyber friends.

Today isn't just any Wednesday. It is Ash Wednesday. The beginning of Lent. Apostleshipofprayer has a very good video about Ash Wednesday and Lent.

P.S. I know I said I would be off the internet on Wednesdays, but I wanted to share this. Besides, I used my fantastical preposting (or is it postposting) skills.

On Saturday I wrote a post sort of about what Lent means to me. In this post, I descibe giving something up, like donuts. But the season of Lent is about much more than giving up sweets in self denial. It is supposed to be about self denial for the sake of Christ. It is about seeing Christ in others, and offering them mercy. The Catholic Church offers a list of ways to show mercy. the corporal works of mercy is as follows:
Feed the hungry
Give drink to the thirsty
Clothe the naked
Shelter the Homeless
Visit the sick
Visit the imprisoned
Bury the dead
The spiritual works of mercy are:
Instruct the ignorant
Counsel the doubtful
Admonish the sinner
Bear wrongs patiently
Forgive offenses willingly
Comfort the sorrowful
Pray for the living and the dead
Now, ideally, we are supposed to be practicing this mercy every day of the year. Well, I don't know about anyone else, but I find myself drifting into other cares. Lent sort of wakes me up and brings me back....Ideally I am not going to stop doing these things during the Easter Season and Ordinary Time because Lent is over. Ideally, I am to have made self denial and mercy a way of life that keeps on going until next Lent, when I can then find ways to be more merciful still. Yeah, I keep saying ideally. That is because often enough I foul up somehow before we are even half way into Lent. I try to remind myself that just because my sacrifice could never be perfect, it doesn't mean it is useless. That is where the God and angel conversation come in again (see Saturday's post).

Now, here is a question. What if I were to do any of the corporal works of mercy with a sneer on my face? Would that be merciful? That question arises from a situation that my friend Katdish referenced on her blog Hey Look A Chicken.. The gist of the story is that some experimenters in viral advertising are using a homeless person, claiming they have a win win situation. Some of us find the way this is being handled as degrading to the man in question. I tried to assume the best about the perpetrators of the campaign in the beginning, but the more I think about it, the harder it is. Doesn't treating someone mercifully require being aware of their dignity? I started out thinking I shouldn't judge this campaign, since I am not doing enough. I moved on to thinking that just because I should do more, that doesn't excuse using someone the way the campaigners have used Tim.
Katdish's post caused lots of thoughts to start running through my mind, too many to include in one post. For now, I want to end this post with the thought that this Lent I need to incorporate remembering the dignity of the person as I attempt to grow in mercy. That sentence itself may sound confusing, but I trust you know what I mean.
There will be more on this to come, as I sort it out.
God bless Katdish and the people at her Church. They have been working on this already....

I know that God doesn't really smoke cigars, but that is not the point....

Last night, my Church was hosting "Women At the Well", which, of course, is our women's ministry group. During this session, we had a guest priest speak to us about preparing for Lent. He talked about exorcisms, C.S. Lewis's The Screwtape Letters, and stuff like that. Most of it, I did not like listening to. I do not like to think about the devil. It is not that I don't believe he exists. I just want him to get as little attention as possible. Please don't get me wrong. I understand why Fr. Simon was talking about exorcisms. Lot's of people have wishful thinking about the devil. By that I mean, lots of people don't believe he exists. They believe in God, but not the devil. I really think the reason for that is wishful thinking, but I digress. I also understand that sometimes I might be engaging in wishful thinking myself by acting as if me ignoring him will result in him ignoring me. So I guess I got something out of this part of Fr. Simon's talk, but this wasn't my favorite part.
My favorite part of Father's talk was when he explained the reason for Lenten sacrifice. He said that God actually has no need for our sacrifice. He said it is we who need to practice saying no to ourselves. He said that the devil has us convinced that being able to choose what we want is true freedom, but that true freedom is being able to decide to say no to our wants. I was really impressed by this line of thought.
You see, I don't believe that God needs our sacrifices either. I always thought of Lenten sacrifices as being like those stupid cards I used to make for my daddy for his birthday. You see, I have no artistic talent whatsoever, yet I would attempt to make a card for my dad throughout grammar school. Many years these cards had flowers drawn on them. Hey, they were blue and purple flowers, therefore appropriate for a man. By the time I was in High School, I recognized my lack of talent. Daddy would ask why I didn't make a card, and I would say something about realizing that I draw poorly. Daddy would say how he always liked them, and I dismissed these comments as fatherly love. Yeah. You read that right. But what I mean is that I thought my dad was just saying that because he loved me, not that he meant that because he loved me. Can you guess what I found in a cigar box while cleaning out my parent's room when mom came to live with us? Yep. All those cards. Even the one where I did not know how to spell best, and wrote "Your the beast daddy in the whole world. I love you." He kept those crummy cards. I know they were crummy. I taught kids who had talent, and who didn't, and can recognize myself as one who didn't. But daddy cherished those cards.
I imagine God cherishing our sacrifices like that. I imagine a conversation between God and an angel going something like this.....
God: Awwwwww, look at my daughter, Helen. She is giving up donuts for Lent. Isn't she cute?
Angel: Uhmmm, it's a donut.
God: Yeah. Even the Bavarian creams she likes so much....
Angel: Yeah. You gave her Sunsets, flowers, a loving home, green grass, quenching water, your only Son, she gives you donuts. That does not sound even steven to me...
God: Of course not. She couldn't possibly do even steven. She is just human.
Angel: Yeah, a sinful human.
God: My Son took care of those sins......
Angel: That's right! So what are those donuts about?
God: They are about her loving Me and wanting to give Me a gift. Isn't that cute.
Angel: If You say so........

John 1:12-13 says "Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent,[c] nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God."

I guess that I picture that like my earthly daddy, God doesn't see my best as vile, but, because through Jesus I am His daughter, He lovingly sees my best as something cute. Lent is a time for me to remember that God gave me His best-His only Son. I ought to give Him my best. It could never be even steven, but God still may keep it in His very own cigar box.

Anyway, still, I liked Father Simon's explanation of giving up something for Lent being an opportunity to say no to my own wants. A sort of exercise to get me in shape spiritually for saying no to evil I desire. But I like mine too. I think we are both right. Or is that wishful thinking on my part?

Lent begins this coming Wednesday. I will probably share thoughts on Lent on and off for the next few weeks. But don't worry, I won't be getting all serious and stuff. I am going to enjoy giving up something as a gift to God, just as I enjoyed making ugly cards for my daddy when I was little.

Ashes, Ashes, We all Fall Down

     I know it is in poor taste to wish everyone a happy lent, since it is a time in which we are to work at being at one with Christ during His forty days in the desert, and eventually His Passion.  But I am pleased to begin lent, because it is a new beginning.  It is even better than New Year's Day, because our Lenten promises carry on a spiritual significance which our New Year's resolutions do not.  Our New Year's resolutions are all about us, while our Lenten promises are all about our relationship with God.

    I usually make the Lenten promise to stay away from sweets.  It is a worthy goal, but seems to be more about me than my relationship with God (let's just say for now I am a big girl and leave it at that).  That goal has helped me for many a year to realize my own weakness and Christ's strength, but I think it is time for me to do more.  It is time to build on that realization.

My Lenten promise this year is to spend time daily in prayer.  I know, as a Christian it is something I should be doing anyway.  But I am not.  I promise to spend time each day praying, and hopefully by the end of Lent it will be so much a part of my life that I won't stop.  I hope to find myself renewed...