Following New Tweeters and Nibbling at A Turkey's Breast (They Say A Snappy Title is EVERYTHING)

Yeah, not sure if it will catch on, but when I start following people now, I send them an @reply as to how I heard of them on twitter (which friend) and that I am not a spambot. I do this because I am starting to wish people did that in general. It still bothers me that I could be ignoring real potential friends, especially friends of friends, because I mistake them for something they aren't because I misjudged their last group of tweets. I don't want to automatically follow all who follow me, because then I'd be following spammers. Why would I want that? So, in the spirit of "do unto others", I am letting new people I follow know how I heard of them. So if you are ever told you have some odd friends on twitter, you know how you've been outed...

Well, you may have noticed that it has been a while since I have done a twitter ho down post. My mom is still in the hospital, and I haven't been tweeting as much. I didn't even twitter carol everyone I meant to, so if I missed you, please accept my apologies. It's not that I didn't want to spam you with carols, it's that time got away from me. And thank you everyone who tweeted the lyrics of "Adeste Fideles" to me. It was very comforting.

I have been on the twitter a bit more this week, and though I still am not quite up to my usual standard of humor, I thought, by golly, it is time to put in a little effort. So here it is. A little effort...


Okay, these will make a lot more sense if read from the bottom up. Sorry.

Hubby back from Bible Study. Going to go see if he learned anything....Tweet you later...

Please tell me there is another movie as funny as "Airplane"! I want to laugh until it hurts, and still gasp for breath, tears flowing..

"Get that finger out of your ear! You don't know where that finger's been..."

@weightwhat I needed a dose of "Airplane", you know?

@makeadiff21 @weightwhat @sarahmsalter Sometimes a gal has to "let her hair down."

I washed my hair. I am allowing it to drip dry. #lifeinthefastlane

Drinking rosehip tea and apple green tea mixed together.

I better go to bed. The only reason I am not there already is that I am too tired to get up. Perhaps that is a clue I should get going...

Today I was thankful for hot tea. Tomorrow I will be thankful for salt. The kind that gets thrown on an icy driveway.

@br8kthru Careful when making fun of magic pills... :-) Anyone try to take my Synthroid from me, and I will BITE them..... For realsies!

Okay, time to nibble at the turkey breast...tweet you later!!!

Dang. There is a reason the timer on the turkey isn't ringing. I didn't set it because I knew I'd remember.

Turkey breast almost ready to come out of the oven. Good, because I am hungry. No breakfast. By time I was back from errands, lunchtime..

RT @funnyoneliners I don't like irony. Or foldy. Or thinky. Or worky. I like eaty. Eaty is good. RT @lafix

I Think She Will Be Making a Full Recovery....

Okay. We will start at the beginning. Well, not the beginning, but a good deal earlier than the funny part.

On Monday mom's portocath wasn't working, and she needed to have two IVs going at the same time. Her veins have been popping, and they were having a hard time finding good veins with which to work, so the nurse ended up having to put the IVs with the needle between her thumb and her index finger. No, it is not funny yet. She couldn't grab anything! I had to feed her so she could eat without jerking the needle. No, it still isn't funny. I'm not cruel...

Before I left, I asked the nurse to make an annotation on her chart that an aid should come in and ask her if she needed to be fed. I figured she might be able to handle some herself, and even if she isn't, at least to let her voice her needs rather than feel totally helpless. The nurse informed me that they always ask. I insisted she write it on her chart because mom has been capable of feeding herself all this time, and if things get too busy, it is easy to take past history for granted. (Please believe me. I usually don't get all bossy with the nurses, but this is the one who failed to call my mom's doctor last week after she'd been hallucinating from her pain meds all night. SHE needs instruction...)

Well, yesterday I walk into her room about ten minutes after lunch started (food service brought the trays a wee bit early) and I find my mom, who had been eating only about half of her food for weeks, having finished everything but desert. A young man with dark hair and a mustache was feeding her ice cream. Here is the funny part. SHE DID NOT HAVE ANY NEEDLES IN EITHER HAND! The portcath was working, and she didn't need the other IV any more. The young man informed me she had eaten all her breakfast as well. I thanked him, and offered to finish feeding her desert. When he left, I handed the ice cream to her, and she fed herself.

I asked her why she didn't just tell him she could feed herself.

Mom: I'm not crazy. He's cute! How often am I going to have the opportunity to be hand fed by a handsome man?
Helen: And your sudden improvement in appetite?
Mom: Once I'm done eating, no more handsome man....

I stayed to make sure she could feed herself at dinner. She could, but she did not eat all of her Macaroni and Hamburger. I even offered to feed her myself. No go. What do you think? Do I need to dye my hair black, and stop tweezing my upper lip?




I know... Two life is funny posts in one week!! Good for us!

Now THAT"D be SOME kiss ....

I had to pick my husband up from work today. This time it was his car. Long story...

Anyway, when we get home, I notice that he has a scab over the left side of his upper lip. I asked him how that happened, and he said that when he answered the phone, he "answered it too hard" and jammed it to his lip.

I have advised him to NOT tell that story to anyone else who asks about his lip. He should tell people he got injured while kissing me. What do you think? Doesn't that sound waaaaaaay more believable?



What about you? If you have any funny stories in your life, join my friend Wendy's Life is Funny Blog Carnival. Click on the above button to get there.

Word Association Football : Five Little Words...

"Kathy at Happy at Home did a "Psychological Test" meme in which you are supposed to say the first word that comes into your head after they say their word. I thought it looked like fun, so I asked her to send me five words as well. So here they are.



Kathy said love
Helen said Bob: Of course. Bob is the love of my life. Sure it would have been more spiritual if I said "God" or "Jesus", but at least I didn't say "Drambuie", right?

Kathy said work
Helen said dusting: I have always hated dusting. I blame the allergies. And the fact that if I complained to mom that I was bored, she'd hand me some torn (but clean) old undies, and tell me to start dusting. Needless to say, I learned to keep myself occupied.

Kathy said dogs
Helen said cute: Okay, why did I say dogs are cute when I have allergies? Because they are. If I could get one at the pound, I'd ask Bob if we could get one of them hypoallergenic breeds. But somehow I don't expect to find one of them at the pound...

Kathy said ocean
Helen said Pacific: Sigh. We had our honeymoon in Hawaii. The Pacific Ocean tastes marvelous....

Kathy said purple
Helen said grape: Even though I look fabulous in purple, I always say it makes me look like a grape so that I sound humble. Now you know my secret.