Okay. We will start at the beginning. Well, not the beginning, but a good deal earlier than the funny part.
On Monday mom's portocath wasn't working, and she needed to have two IVs going at the same time. Her veins have been popping, and they were having a hard time finding good veins with which to work, so the nurse ended up having to put the IVs with the needle between her thumb and her index finger. No, it is not funny yet. She couldn't grab anything! I had to feed her so she could eat without jerking the needle. No, it still isn't funny. I'm not cruel...
Before I left, I asked the nurse to make an annotation on her chart that an aid should come in and ask her if she needed to be fed. I figured she might be able to handle some herself, and even if she isn't, at least to let her voice her needs rather than feel totally helpless. The nurse informed me that they always ask. I insisted she write it on her chart because mom has been capable of feeding herself all this time, and if things get too busy, it is easy to take past history for granted. (Please believe me. I usually don't get all bossy with the nurses, but this is the one who failed to call my mom's doctor last week after she'd been hallucinating from her pain meds all night. SHE needs instruction...)
Well, yesterday I walk into her room about ten minutes after lunch started (food service brought the trays a wee bit early) and I find my mom, who had been eating only about half of her food for weeks, having finished everything but desert. A young man with dark hair and a mustache was feeding her ice cream. Here is the funny part. SHE DID NOT HAVE ANY NEEDLES IN EITHER HAND! The portcath was working, and she didn't need the other IV any more. The young man informed me she had eaten all her breakfast as well. I thanked him, and offered to finish feeding her desert. When he left, I handed the ice cream to her, and she fed herself.
I asked her why she didn't just tell him she could feed herself.
Mom: I'm not crazy. He's cute! How often am I going to have the opportunity to be hand fed by a handsome man?
Helen: And your sudden improvement in appetite?
Mom: Once I'm done eating, no more handsome man....
I stayed to make sure she could feed herself at dinner. She could, but she did not eat all of her Macaroni and Hamburger. I even offered to feed her myself. No go. What do you think? Do I need to dye my hair black, and stop tweezing my upper lip?
I know... Two life is funny posts in one week!! Good for us!