Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Sharing Seven Things You Don't Know About Me

I am supposed to tell you 7 things about myself and then pass it on to 15 other Beautiful Bloggers.

Seven Things You Don't Already Know About Me

1) I started tomato and pepper seeds a few weeks ago. I am going to try to plant a garden this year.

2) I like to watch television shows about history. Yes. Like what is on the History Channel.

3) I do not like mice. Once I thought I saw a mouse in the kitchen in my old house, and I refused to cook in that kitchen until the mouse was caught. We had to move. Just kidding. We were planning to sell the house and move anyway. Eventually.

4) I rarely wear makeup. I worry about overdoing it, and fear looking like a clown. An ugly clown.

5) I only wear jewelry if it has sentimental value, such as was my grandmother's, or was a gift from Bob. I somehow feel like a kid pretending to be a grownup when I wear jewelry.

6) My favorite main dish is steak. Ribeye. Broiled. Dang. Now I'm hungry.

7) My favorite donut is the Bavarian Creme donut from Dunkin' Donuts. I only talk about jelly donuts as a temptation because jelly donuts are so universal.

My Beautiful Blogger Choices Are...

And I hope some boy bloggers don't mind being called beautiful

This list is in no way exhaustive of the beautiful bloggers I have come into contact with, nor is it in any particular order.

Recipients are invited to share seven things about themselves and choose 15 people to receive same award. But you know I'll love you even if you choose not to participate, I hope.

Monday, March 29, 2010

I'm Not Particularly Nice, But I Am Funny...

I know. I seem so sweet in cyberspace.... I am a bit reluctant to share my Life is Funny story today. I don't mind laughing at my clumsiness, silliness, oddness, and a bunch of other stuff. But today the only thing I can bring to mind is the time I was really mean to someone at Church. And yes. I still laugh about it. This is not one of my bright and shining moments.

Anyway, I think I vaguely mentioned a while back that during college I was involved on the fringes of a cult. I went to my childhood Church on Sunday mornings, and to the other one on Sunday afternoons. Well, this young man at the Sunday afternoon Church was constantly talking down to me and a couple of my good friends.

He'd say things like "are those glasses that tint in the light for prescription, or just because you think it makes you look cool. You know, God doesn't want you to be concerned about appearances..." Not a Sunday went by where Jack didn't say something preachy like this to my friends or me.

Well, one day he delivers a message to someone at our campus Bible House. (Don't ask. Just. Don't. Ask.) I was studying scripture with my friend Dave. Jack comes up to us, and starts telling us this joke without a punch line. It was the joke that wouldn't end.

A woman goes into a restaurant and orders vanilla vegetables with her meal. When she can't have that, she wants to skip the meal for spinach ice cream. The joke did not make any sense, and he would go back and forth, because when she was told she couldn't have spinach ice cream, she was back to trying to order a meal with vanilla vegetables.

Dave and I just stared at Jack with our mouths open. Finally Jack had to leave. When we heard the outside door close, we just looked at each other, and went hysterical. The look on Dave's face was so funny, and I imagine the look on mine wasn't exactly stunning, but stunned. We had tears rolling down our faces...

Unfortunately, Jack left something in the Bible House, and he comes back in to find Dave and I both laughing so hard we are crying. Jack asks us what is so funny.

Not having the heart to tell him we are laughing at how stunned the other is by the stupidity of his joke, I look at him and say "VANILLA VEGETABLES!!!!! BWAHAHAHHAHHA!" as if I first got the joke after he left. That only made Dave laugh all the harder, especially since Jack not only believed we first got the joke, but was laughing, too "I know, right! Vanilla vegetables!"

Now, if the story ended here, I'm not sure it would make me so bad. I laughed at someone when I shouldn't have and covered it up when he caught us. It's not the worst thing I've done. Even though I was still laughing, I suspect I didn't tell him why we were laughing because I was ashamed in the first place.

However, remember how I said Jack had a tendency to act pompously during the fellowship after service? Well, every time Jack behaved pompously after that, I'd choose an elder in my head, and say to him "Do you know who hasn't heard your vanilla vegetable joke...." and take him by the arm to that particular Church leader. If I had quit one week later, I'd have had to walk him over to the pastor himself. (This Church had a lot of leaders....)

So, how is your life funny?

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Find Out Who is Your Role Model in This Completely and 100% Accurate Test!

Just do this. it's fun. I promise you, you WILL laugh when you find your role model. NO CHEATING. I was really surprised to find out who my role model was.



It's CRAZY how accurate this is!

No peeking !

1) Pick your favorite number between 1-9

2) Multiply by 3 then

3) Add 3

4) Then again Multiply by 3 (I'll wait while you get the calculator....)

5) You'll get a 2 or 3 digit number....

6) Add the digits together

Now Scroll down


With that number, see who your ROLE MODEL is from the list below:

1. Einstein

2. Oprah Winfrey

3. Snoopy

4. Bill Clinton

5. Bill Gates

6. Gandhi

7. Ronald Reagan

8. Babe Ruth

9. Helen at Random Musings

10. John F. Kennedy

I know, I know....I just have that effect on people. One day, you too can be like me.

P.S. Stop picking different numbers!! I AM YOUR ROLE MODEL, JUST DEAL WITH

IT!!!!!! You want to be a role model, too? Okay, Copy and paste this to your own blog, but put your own name on No. 9.

This was sent to me in an email from my cousin several months ago!

This is my contribution to my friend @katbrak 's meme

She has combined her meme with her friend Shakira's.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

No One Ever Asked Helen to .....

Today, inspired by heart Kathy, (how do you make that little heart in front of your name?), I decided to take part in

Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop.

No One Ever Asked Me to...
No one ever asked me to smile less.
No one ever asked me to stop listening to them.
No one ever asked me to not pray for them.
No one ever asked me to to walk in front of them.
No one ever asked me to walk behind them.
No one ever asked me to breathe less deeply.
No one ever asked me to lose myself.
No one ever asked me to hold myself responsible for all things bad.
No one ever asked me to stop laughing.
No one ever asked me to stop living.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

He is Faithful

This week's One Word Blog Carnival is on the word faithfulness. Please check out Bridget Chumbley's blog for more on Faithfulness.

Faithfulness: steadfast in affection or allegiance.

That fits God so perfectly, doesn't it? Hi love for us has never waivered. When we were as far away from deserving His faithfulness, He gave us Jesus, who demonstrated His own faithfulness by dying a humiliating, painful, and gruesome death on a cross. He did this for us because we were as far from faithful as we could possibly be...His faithfulness is in no way dependent on ours.

Romans 3:3-4 3What if some did not have faith? Will their lack of faith nullify God's faithfulness? 4Not at all! Let God be true, and every man a liar. As it is written:
"So that you may be proved right when you speak
and prevail when you judge."

Do I mean to suggest that people can not be faithful? Not at all. Galatians 5:22 lists faithfulness among the gifts of the Holy Spirit. I firmly believe that we can be faithful, but only because it is a gift given to us.

I have known much faithfulness.... A mom who was always there for me, a dad who worked hard and came home and spent time with me, a husband who takes Ephesians 5:25 (Husbands love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her) to heart...

And do you know what these faithful people have in common? Yep. Him. My parents were, and my husband is, a tangible demonstration of God's faithfulness to me.

Thank you, God!

I'd like to share one of my mom's favorite hymns with you. It is based on Psalm 91. I sang this to my mom when she was frightened from the hallucinations her pain medications gave her one day. I used the imagery of holding her in the palm of His hand in prayer with her the night before she died (I thought about singing it to her, but didn't think making the other patients hear me was fair to them...), and reminded her that just as she would never have dropped her daughter, He would never drop His daughter.... I wasn't expecting her to be raised "on eagle's wings" the next morning.... But I know God is faithful, and that He did not drop her....

Monday, March 22, 2010

Wild Card Party

Last week my husband and I visited his Uncle Burt (name changed to protect the innocent) in the nursing home. I love Uncle Burt. He is 92 years old, and his mind is still pretty sharp, though his body is wearing out. We try to visit him at least once a month. Sometimes we do better, and sometimes worse, but we always have a good time when we see him.

As a matter of fact, we have a recurring joke. Whenever I meet a new nurse of nurse's aide taking care of him, I introduce myself as "Uncle Burt's favorite niece." This is funny on many levels, the first being that I am actually a niece through marriage. My husband Bob is actually his nephew by blood. The other funny thing about the introduction is that Uncle Burt had only one sibling, who had only one child: Bob. His late wife's sisters did not have any children. So not only am I not his niece by blood, but he doesn't have any other nieces either by blood or through marriage. Uncle Burt chuckles and nods every time I do this. If Bob is with me, I introduce him as my husband. Bob then asks "So if you get Uncle Bill, which of your relatives do I get in exchange?"

Still, it is difficult to have a conversation for a long period of time with a person who is in a Nursing Home. His body is weary, and he has a heart condition. We don't want to upset him, so talking about the news is out of the question. We ask him how his grandchildren are, and he is proud to tell us. He also tells about some of the art projects he works on. I might mention books I am reading, or how my tomato seeds for my garden are growing. But after about half an hour, it is hard to think of what to say. While that was true even with my mom, it seemed like sitting with her while she watched t.v. and I read seemed a lot more natural than with Uncle Burt.

Luckily for us, his daughter keeps a deck of cards for him in one of his drawers. This works out nicely, because we can play cards for a couple of hours, and conversation that comes slowly is just fine during a friendly card game. We do keep it friendly. We don't play for money, not even pennies. The game proves entertaining in more ways than one.

Uncle Burt likes a game called "Deuces Wild". The first time we played it, I had suggested "Gin Rummy" and Uncle Burt agreed. However, he was playing "Deuces Wild". I did not realize it at the time. I just thought that the 90 year old man cheats. I was okay with that. If winning was that important to him, I was more than happy to oblige. But one day we visited him while he was in a basement playing "Deuces Wild" with four other people, and as I watched, I realized that was what he plays when we play "Gin Rummy".

You'd think that this discovery would even out the playing field, wouldn't you? It doesn't. I don't know all the rules for "Deuces Wild" and neither does Bob. If we ask Uncle Bill if something is right, he shrugs and says he doesn't remember, and not to worry about it, he'll allow for it. It seems that the three of us are playing some mixed up card game where we are all following different rules. But it all works out for us in the end: Uncle Burt usually wins.

Click on the above link to check out my friend Wendy's Life is Funny blog carnival. If you have a blog, consider joining the party. This week she is serving cookies... ;-)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Happy St. Patrick's Day

Click on the image below for a very brief biography of St. Patrick.

Life Of St. Patrick

Click on the image, below for a prayer by St. Patrick.
Saint Patrick's Prayer

Click here for a Happy St. Patrick's Day e-card.
Happy St. Patrick's Day

Monday, March 15, 2010

You Might Not Want to Kiss Me Hello....

You are in luck! Not only is it time for me to post another Life is Funny post, but it is about something that happened this weekend.
Saturday morning I was invited to a friend's house for breakfast. Another friend of mine was picking me up. Before she came over, I wanted to clean the bathroom a bit. Well, I didn't realize that I had run out of toilet bowl cleaner when I cleaned the bathroom last week. I probably realized at the time that I used it up, since I threw the bottle away. But I forgot about that until Saturday morning.
I remembered that a while back I read that leaving a cap full of mouthwash in the bowl for half an hour, closing the lid, then swishing did nicely in a pinch. I was desperate. I have always felt that the most important rooms to have clean for company were the kitchen and the bathroom. That way a friend should not feel ill at ease to eat or pee in your house. It is most inhospitable to not provide for either possibility.
Half an hour after pouring the mouthwash in the toilet, I swish the toilet brush around in the greenish yellow water, and have the cleanest toilet bowl I have ever seen in my life!!! How is this funny? Well, now I'm worried about what I have been gargling with all these years! Now I'm afraid to gargle with the stuff, but am ashamed at the prospect of having my toilet bowl smell better than my breath!
I may switch to breath mints... But only after I have placed a few in my toilet tank and made sure it doesn't clean it....

How about writing your own Life is Funny post, and linking it up at my friend Wendy's blog!

Saturday, March 13, 2010

A Prison of Our Own Making

My friend Katdish featured a writer on her blog who seems to be doing a sort of blog carnival called snippets. Every week she is posting a phrase and allowing us to become inspired by it. I thought I'd attempt to take part in it this week. This week's snippet is "And when she finally spoke, her words dropped like pebbles in a tin pail." I was "inspired" to write a bit of realistic fiction.

And when she finally spoke, her words dropped like pebbles in a tin pail.
She definitely had our attention. Everyone was listening. Everyone in the room heard her speak his secret. They knew more about their coworker than they had a right to know. They also learned more about her than she realized she shared, just because she broke his confidence. Some of us laughed at his shame, while others of us shook our heads at her lack of it. I can't look either of them in the eye any longer. Gossip sucked out the possibility of forming a true friendship with either of them. If only my ears could unhear what they've heard, and my respect for myself be restored. I listened instead of walking away. Still, I will forget that juicy bit about him long before I forget that she can't be trusted. I will be warning people to watch their backs around here long after I have forgotten why. Yet, I don't want to contribute to the gossip. I suppose that means I should tell them to keep an eye on me as well. The foundation of our imprisonment in our cubicles is not cardboard walls covered in fabric, but the grapevine. I could have attacked it when it was small, and perhaps we'd be free, but just one rumor made it too strong to be cut. Forget the water cooler. I'm bringing my own bottle from now on.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

How I Became Van Helen...

tried to put tweets people sent me in boldface to make the post easier to follow this week. As usual, bottoms up!

@BridgetChumbley Thanks. Sprouting tomato plants are really little, but I feel so hopeful for summer tomatoes now. Hopeful feels good!

@BridgetChumbley @Helenatrandom The little things are sometimes the most important. I'm so glad to hear you are happy! #yayfortomatoes

My tomato seeds have started to sprout. I am happy. I am honestly happy. Wow. It's been a while... (Can you tell I love tomatoes?)

@makeadiff21 Hi Ginny! Snow is melted here in Chicago. Or at least it is in my yard. Today is a good day.

@katdish Buenos tag, mi schwester... Spanish + German = TWSS

Hot cup of instant cappuccino....I should've given it up for Lent, but didn't. Man, it is sooooo good!!!

@marni71 @CandySteele we named our cars Mary Kate and Ashley... Mary Kate had to be traded in, but I'm still driving Ashley...

@CandySteele thanks. I wrote that down. I don't think we get any weeds with red leaves in our yard, so it sounds like that'll work.

@CandySteele @Helenatrandom Get spring mix or mesclun or something like that. It's so purty. Reds & dark greens are the healthiest.

@CandySteele Haven't bought the seeds yet. I've been reading packages,trying to determine which looks less like crabgrass. #idowannaeatweeds

@CandySteele @Helenatrandom It does, but it doesnt like scorching heat. What kind of lettuce?

@CandySteele The directions say Spring and Fall. So it does not grow in the Summer?

@CandySteele @Helenatrandom No, I'd wait until Mother's day. But don't plant it all at once or you'll be harvesting all at once.

@CandySteele Good morning! Should I be planting lettuce yet? The directions say early in the Spring... But last frost date is late April

RT@MattTCoNP Chuck Norris is 70(!?) He celebrated by staring down his birthday candles until they went out in submission.

Runny Nose Shower Gel Soap Dispenser from Baron Bob: via @addthis

On top of spaghetti ... all covered in cheese... I lost my poor meatball....when somebody sneezed....

@emptynestegg And you can bet real money I wouldn't have let any of my students sing HALF of them....

@emptynestegg No. I was describing what we sang on the bus on a field trip when I was a kid...

@BridgetChumbley "Lou Lou had a steamboat, the steamboat had a bell, the steamboat went to heaven, and Lou Lou went to Hello operator .."

@BridgetChumbley Our song was loosely based on this idea (
Warning: Click at your own risk. These lyrics could make a sailor blush! )

@BridgetChumbley And probably their favorite part. We used to sing a song on the bus called "Bang Bang Lou Lou"

@weightwhat Apparently, it's "ceinture". #ilovegooglesearch

@weightwhat @Helenatrandom Okay. How do you say "the hoist, squeeze, pull and groan" in French?

@weightwhat I think we could both work that look. Can we come up with a fancy French name for a girdle, though.?

@weightwhat @Helenatrandom Maybe I could wear a hair piece and a girdle, just like the real band does now, huh?

@weightwhat @Helenatrandom I'd like to be in your all girl tribute band, but I don't have the big hair and rockin' bod I used to have.

@br8kthru @Helenatrandom yep- I think you should go for it.

@br8kthru An all girl tribute band...

@weightwhat @makeadiff21 Well, I think I can sing. I don't know if anyone else agrees with me....

@br8kthru @Helenatrandom RE: Van Helen -you could start a tribute band...

@weightwhat @Helenatrandom Yes. Yes it does. Can you do some big hair and sing?

@makeadiff21 @Helenatrandom You're not gonna go all psycho on us tho are ya?

@makeadiff21 "Van Helen"... has a vice ring to it though, doesn't it?

@weightwhat If I hibernated until I was a size 8, my name would be changed to Rip Van Helen...

@weightwhat @makeadiff21 Not the best today. Too many things weighing on my mind. I'd like to hibernate until it's over. And I'm a size 8.

I am drinking a cup of instant cappuccino with added magnesium. YUMMY!!!

@sarahmsalter I enjoyed your post. Especially when you mentioned feeling the Spirit when you got choked up at Apostle's Creed.

@sarahmsalter I had a good morning. I finished my receipts for the ICF today. (I am the "Financial Secretary. I collect dues..)

RT @katdish So, are y'all following my dog yet? Priorities, people! @BuddyLovetheDog

RT @katdish Follow Monday - @buddylovethedog

@whataboutbobdog Well, not any more. But she used to be...

@whataboutbobdog Please don't eat BunBun. She is my friend....

Red grapefruits are so pretty on the inside. Almost too pretty to eat. Almost....

The first movie I ever saw with Bob was "While You Were Sleeping." It was our first sighted (as opposed to blind) date...

RT @TanyaCaudill "If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?"

@katdish My husband showed this to me today and I thought of you. :-)

Sharing My Passions

I have been a little lax in writing. It seems I don't have feel much inspiration lately. I hate saying that I am "depressed" over my Momma's passing. It sounds so needy. I hate being needy. Anyways, since I am lacking inspiration, I thought I would take part in a meme from Kathy at Happy at Home. Sorry about not providing a link. My browser is acting crazy today... No URL addresses at the top of my page. So weird...

Anyway, Kathy participates in something called Writer's Workshop. One of today's assignments was to describe five things I am most passionate about. That seems like a good assignment. For one thing, it gives me something to post right now. For another, it means that I can later reflect on these and how I can do something about these passions to bring me out of myself...

1) I am passionate about my marriage. No TWSS. I am not talking about passionate in an embarrassing to share way. (Not that I'm not... I just don't plan on sharing that publicly.) God has given me a wonderful husband. Together we have a happy marriage. I am passionate about appreciating that gift. There are lots of books and advice to tell people how to have a happy marriage. I say it is a gift, and one that must be cherished. Cherishing any gift is rather helpful in preserving it, though...

2) I am passionate about the welfare of children. I taught for thirteen years. I personally believe that to teach a child, one must be aware of their needs. While I may not be able to provide for all of their needs, awareness makes me more compassionate, and that compassion translates into a better relationship with the student, which facilitates a better learning environment.

3) This one related to the second, in a way. I am passionate in believing that life and death is and should be in God's hands, not a person's. Yes. You should read that as me being Pro-life. I believe abortion is wrong, in every instance. We are talking about the life of a human being, and how that human being came to should not negate his or her right to exist. I don't find this belief easy. I am a woman. Of course my heart breaks for a woman or girl who is carry a rapist's or abuser's baby. If there was a way to separate her from the development of the unborn child, and the child thrive, I'd be for it. But there isn't.
I also feel that euthanasia is wrong. I define that as purposely seeking the death of the ill or elderly, not the letting go and declination of life support, or the acceptance of pain killers whose side effect is shorter life span.

4) Family. I have always wanted to be a mother. I am not yet. That doesn't mean I'm not still passionate about becoming one. More on that will probably come later..

5) My faith. I suppose my faith should come first, not fifth. What can I say? I still struggle with faith. How can I be passionate about something with which I struggle? If I wasn't passionate about it, I'd cease struggling, I think.

You may have noticed I didn't list blogging. I don't know. Sometimes I am really passionate about writing. Lot's of posts about my Momma this past month just had to come out. Once it did, I was able to let the scene I shared stop playing over in my mind. At other times, I just don't know what to write. Like lately.
Okay, there we go. I am not sure that I will be writing more on these topics, but I do think reflecting on this question was good for me.

How about you? What is your passion? You can name five, or choose one. You are the boss of you.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

The Orgin of Goodness

Psalm 23:6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD

I learned as a child that the etymology of the word "good" comes from the word "God". Unfortunately, I can not find any online sources that agree with that. Was I taught wrong. Perhaps, but not entirely. The word "good" may or may not come from the word God in the English language ( though the phrase Goodbye does come from God be with you ), the very existence of goodness is found only in God.

Every time the word goodness is mentioned in the Old Testament, it is in reference to God. I got that on a search on Biblegateway. I'm not a Bible Scholar or anything. I just observed that on that website. Could my search be at fault? Sure. My limitations could always be at fault. It is my own faults and limitations that put goodness out of my own grasp.

The New Testament however, mentions the word goodness as referring to God, and to a gift He gives us. Goodness is out of my reach. I can not grab it on my own. But God offers it as a gift. I can't snatch it and become good. But He can give His goodness.

God truly is wonderful. amazing, and good. Every day He gives us the best of Himself.

This brief post on goodness is my contribution to Bridget Chumbley's One Word Blog Carnival. Today's word is goodness.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Happy Birthday, Peter Pollock

Today is the birthday, of my friend, Peter Pollock. Peter is a nice man, with a lovely wife and sweet kids. He is also a pastor who has made it his mission to help Christians reach out in action, and not just words. Seriously, his life and outreach remind me of my favorite St. Francis of Assisi quote: “Preach the Gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”
I'd like to encourage you to go to his blog and wish him a happy birthday!

Oh LOOK! The little aliens came back!!

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Grey Hair, Crock Pots, Bon Jovi, an More...

As usual, this was meant to be read bottoms up!!

@buzzbyannies How about mystery mixed with cooking?

@BridgetChumbley I'm still coughing from last week. I refuse to see the doctor! I will beat this on my own!

@marni71 Oh. So if all my friends start floating up, but I am still bound by the laws of gravity, that'll be a real "uh-oh" moment, huh?

@marni71 I don't know much about it, but isn't there something about a remnant being left to be a good influence on the others...

@marni71 @weightwhat I guess that means I'll be "left behind".

@marni71 @weightwhat Don't you think people will be able to tweet during the rapture. (BTW, Catholics don't believe in rapture.)

Tweeting while I am on hold with Medicare. I figure it is time to tell mom's health insurance companies the bad news....

@buzzbyannies "Let's see...what'd I do today... Well my friend from Oregon flew in for lunch..."

@buzzbyannies Also. How funny would it be for me to tell Bob you are flying in to have lunch (or breakfast, dinner, snack) with me!

@katdish I almost included in my comment that Bob was surprised I went to bed without tweeting first, but was afraid it'd be TMI....

@CandySteele You mean you rely on techie gizmos for the time? I would think it'd be easier to reset a watch...

@CandySteele I suppose it depends on if you wrote your appointments down in Iowa time, or Washington DC time...

@SBeeCreations I don't know how to spell it, but ham in polish is pronounce "shinka". That may help in future.Otherwise, it's pointing 4me2

@SBeeCreations Here in Chicago, when you go to a Polish deli or bakery, you often have a hard time finding help who can speak English.There?

@SBeeCreations Could you imagine their face when you'd ask for the "Helenatrandom" discount. *snort*

@SBeeCreations Be sure to use my name there for a discount. Okay. Not really. But it would be really cool if it worked...

@Helenatrandom LOL I'm sure they know exactly where you wear your thongs, Helen.

@BridgetChumbley What do you mean "used to call them"? What do people think I mean when I say that I can't wear thongs because of orthotics

@BridgetChumbley Interesting idea to put a thong in your header...

@makeadiff21 I love my crock pot. My heart belongs to my dishwasher, but the crock pot takes a close second...

RT @jimmyfallon …The woman said she hates living in Chappaqua but she loves the one-mile commute. #FallonMono

RT @jimmyfallon A woman who lives a mile from the Clintons in Chappaqua, New York has been charged with prostitution. #FallonMono

@CandySteele The world's largest crocus? The planes fly rather close to my roof dear! If I want a ride to the airport, I can hop on wing!

RT PeterPollock @Nick_theGeek That's literally a crazy thing to say! /// Glad you are on twitter today Peter!!!! LITERALLY!

@BridgetChumbley I love my crockpot. It is my second favorite appliance. The dishwasher comes first in my heart...

@katdish @SBeeCreations Thanks for RTing. I find it sickening that insurance companies would consider that an outpatient procedure!

Please sign this petition to do away with Outpatient Mastectomies. (I kid you not!)

@makeadiff21 @sarahmsalter I think it is sweet that @SBeeCreations (MommyBee) started a twitter account for BabyBee

@BabySpeedyBee Hey Speedy! Nice to meet you! Be good to MommyBee

@BonJovi @marni71 's bday was yesterday. Howabout wishing her a Happy belated...

@BonJovi Happy Birthday! @marni71 told me it is your birthday! #happybirthdayjonbonjovi

"Summer is God's way of saying He loves us! --And February is His way of saying "It's strictly platonic". From @IronicCatholic 's blog

@makeadiff21 You are so gentle, you don't even eat meat. It's a sweet thing, really...

@TheBonnieGray Hey, jump on into the conversation any time. We don't bite. Well, @makeadiff21 doesn't, anyway.

@redclaydiaries Do I even want to know how one wears dog poo jewelry?

@CandySteele Do you grow it yourself? Bob can't eat tomatoes, cucumbers, and seedy things. He really wants me to try to grow lettuce.

@CandySteele Bob and I can't agree on lettuce. Daddy never had luck growing lettuce. I don't want to eat crab grass...

@CandySteele I am planning on growing veggies in the garden this year. I bought tomato and pepper seeds to start them early for transplant.

@katdish - Very nice. I believe I gave you my mom's waffle recipe, didn't I? ;-)

@Nick_theGeek The Eastern Catholics are very strict. No meat at all. No cooking with oil. No wine. Even fish counts as meat.... I'm RC tho

ATTENTION ALL! Hucklebuck has commented on SCL!

@Nick_theGeek Honest to goodness, I'd rather eat with you than at the White House, any day.

RT @BonJovi Let's show Jon some love on his birthday! Tag your tweets with #happybirthdayjonbonjovi

@CandySteele How are you planning to get nourishment? I know you mentioned not liking to eat out...

@CandySteele Not at all! In fact, I don't think you have taken enough responsibility on your Washington trip. You need to fix economy.

@marni71 Thanks Marni! Now I know what I can do with all those extra bibles my husband bought when looking for "just the right translation"

@CandySteele Well, I hope you succeed in fixing healthcare. Be sure to make everyone happy. If anyone can, you can, Candy.

@CandySteele I have an ICF meeting I need to prepare for. Of course, I've had all month to prepare, and haven't. Sigh. Bad Helen. Bad Helen.

Orange Juice is like sunshine in a glass!

@weightwhat The show IS pretty amazing! I'm glad it wasn't canceled because I didn't watch it...

@weightwhat I am so hooked! Bob likes it too! We just finished episode 4 : Single Ladies = Football. Impressive.

@sarahmsalter Hi Sarah! I was watching Glee. Man oh Manischewitz, that's a good show!!!

@Nick_theGeek I gave up watching wrestling for Lent. I know. Perhaps a bit lame. If I'd've known it was your old HS, I'd've peaked...

@SBeeCreations If she likes animal stories, read Bunnicula to her. He is not REALLY a vampire. The other pets just think he is.

@SBeeCreations I guess they have to have the warning in case ONE person says "Hey, I wonder what would happen if I shoved this up my nose!"

@br8kthru Hell would be having to live with the Cat in the Hat in your head....

@SBeeCreations I then followed up by telling them to be extra nice to ladies who are pregnant, because there are two people there...

@SBeeCreations I read that to my students every year during pro life week. It was a Catholic School,and Horton was perfect for 2nd graders.

@SBeeCreations Who snorts meds? Who think up these warnings? Did they think of mentioning any other orifaces not to put the med in?

@katdish My favorite Seuss book is "Horton Hears a Who". Obviously a pro-life stand, no matter what he said!

@br8kthru You know @weightwhat would have been able to carry on this line of thought for a few more tweet exchanges. But alas, she'sn't here

@SBeeCreations it is just a status update and not a reply to my joke? Good to know...

@SBeeCreations So your new meds can cause you to snort even when you aren't laughing? So now when I tweet something, and you tweet "snort"

@br8kthru Tempted, shempted! I'd make him eat the cereal himself!!!

@br8kthru Oh. We say "Turn that frown upside down." Not as colorful...

@br8kthru Yuck to the max!!!

@SBeeCreations They really went into detail about the simplest things. Things I would just tweet to ask, or play with the settings.

need, all of the other stuff can be learned by tweeting "How do I _________ on the twitter?"

I went to library yesterday. I read "Twitter for Dummies" while I was there. It was funny! Except for the business stuff, which I don't

@sarahmsalter It's a REAL product! I checked the website! We can order them!!!

@weightwhat Man oh Manischewitz! The cops in my area would have me committed! AND THEY'RE ONLY $14.95!

This post completes me!!!

@katdish Me. A friend at Church told me it is time for me to start dying my hair, because it looks like Bob is sitting with an old lady....

@BridgetChumbley Yeah. I don't think we'd be quite as accepting of a woman with a combover...

@BridgetChumbley I actually HAVE aged in the last six months. Why don't we gals look "distinguished" with grey like the fellas?

@BridgetChumbley These days, my natural color is gray.

@sarahmsalter It's that Clairol wash out after 30 hair washes stuff. I just need to test on a patch of skinto be sure I am not allergic.

@weightwhat You did. But I didn't want to start on Episode 3 or 4. I thought it might be difficult to comprehend in the middle like that.

@weightwhat Reddish brown.

My husband's cousin lent us the Season 1 of Glee on DVD. We were watching it for the first time. AWESOME!!!!

@weightwhat HELLO!!!! PART-TAY IN THE HOUSE!!! WOOT!

@BridgetChumbley @sarahmsalter Today a lady at Church told me it is time to dye my hair! Seriously! Mom's Eucharistic Minister.

I better stop sitting at the computer, and do something. This tweeting about housework is reminding me I should be doing some.

@BridgetChumbley Anytime. I wish I was the kind of person who was constantly cleaning her house. I only notice dirt when I expect company.

@katbrak Isn't Fozzie the cutest?

@sarahmsalter I always hated that saying.... Now that I just mention Muppets whenever I hear it. I don't mind being odd!

@sarahmsalter Ah yes. Fozzie Bear is the only movie star I'd use the phrase "He could put his shoes under my bed anytime.." for...

@katbrak My parents made that for me when I had cramps.Since I was ten. In spite of my kidding, I'm not as fond of whiskey as 1 would think

@sarahmsalter I love Beyonce for the humor she has added into my life....

@katbrak Sort of kidding... I only take a nip before bed to settle the cough enough so I can sleep. The real secret weapon is the sleep...

@katbrak I think my cough / cold is improving. At least I hope so. I'd hate to be drinking all this whiskey for nothing...

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Just Call Me Lady Einstein

Well, today I am going to take part in the first Life is Funny post that I have done in a while. It is still a bit hard to find the funny in my life right now, so I am going to go back in time a couple of months, when Momma was still in the hospital.

Momma had been in three different rooms in that hospital. That was because she was switched from different floors for different reasons. None of those rooms were set up the same way. The last room she was in there was set up rather oddly. You could not see the patient from the doorway, nor could the patient see anyone in the hallway. I probably should have asked for her to have a different room, but I was afraid to be difficult about the small stuff. I had no trouble being demanding when I saw that they did not give her the right nutritional supplements at meal times (she was taken Juven™ for wound healing, and sometimes the dietician forgot to send it), or demanding they call the doctor when she hallucinated, but I figured that this wasn't a hotel: room changes were up to them, not me. Besides, she was of sound mind (except for that ONE day...) and could make the request herself if it bothered her.

One thing I did point out to her is that her window reflected the hallway, so she could see if someone was outside her doorway and call out to them if need be. She had a call light, but you know how easy it is to misplace it.... You don't? Fine. Sometimes a CNA comes in to do something for her, and will FORGET to give the patient a call light. This is upsetting to a patient who can't get out of bed. A couple of times though, mom had the phone, and she'd call me that she needed something. I would then call the Nurse's Station on her floor and say "My mom needs her call light. Someone forgot to give it back to her again." I only had to do that three times. It seems they figured out the problem after a while...

Anyhow, this has all just been the set up for the funny part. The funny part comes one day after I'd been there a long time, and was very tired. I was next to mom facing the window with my back completely toward the doorway. I look at the reflection in the window and see my mom's infectious disease doctor.

Me: (in a tired, sing songy voice) Good evening Dr. McIntosh. I hope you are seeing some improvement .....
Dr.: (wide eyed and spooked) That was eery!
Me: What? Not bad news I hope....
Dr.: No, you. How did you know it was me?
Me: I saw you Dr. McIntosh.
Dr.: (Really spooked) How could you...... Your back was completely....You can't see from....
Me: (exasperated) The window, Doc. I saw your reflection in the window!

It was the first time I saw him smile the whole time mom was there. But not the last.

He was able to cure her infection, and she went on to Skilled Nursing Care for her wound. He was a good doctor, even if he couldn't recognize his own reflection. Hey, I hear Einstein had to look up his phone number in the telephone book when asked for his number. Which means I have a lot in common with Einstein. I don't know my cell phone number by heart. If you want it, I have to call you, and you need to use Caller Id. Just call me Lady Einstein...

How about you? You have any funny stories about when you or someone else was a real Einstein? How about sharing on your blog, and participating in the above blog carnival?

Monday, March 1, 2010

Happy Birthday, Marni!

Today is my friend Marni's birthday! Marni is a great gal who balances faith, southern charm and sarcasm. Seriously, even if you did not know she was from Texas, you'd know from her tweets that she was a faith filled southern lady by her grace and wit.

A very impressive fact about Marni: her hand touched Rick Springfield's at a concert! (I have yet to receive in the mail a kleenex that touched the hand that touched the hand of Rick Springfield. Still waiting. I'll keep you all posted).

But she prefers Bon Jovi. I can tell, because she wants to be cremated, and have her ashes blown at him when she dies.

Which means we both like the same musical artists, but have reversed order of preferences. What more can a gal want in a friend?

But seriously, Marni is a sweet friend, and I am blessed to have her.

To read her at her charming AND sarcastic best, follow @marni71 on twitter. QUICKLY, PEOPLE!!

You can wish her a happy birthday here on her blog.