Thursday, November 12, 2009

Pink, Thanks for Asking


Yes. This is my prefered brand of Chamomille tea.

I was drinking rosehip tea yesterday and tweeting about it. My friend Candy Steele (@CandySteele , follow her if you know what is good for you, unless of course your avatar is a moon shot..) is the queen of tea. Whenever I drink herbal tea in the morning, I always tweet her about it and tell her I am thinking of her as I drink it. Another friend tweeted me that the rosehip tea was funny because of a tattoo conversation we had on twitter the day before (read tomorrow's twitter post for those details...) I responded that I drink it to prevent bladder infections...
You see, growing up, my parents used a lot of herbal tea remedies. Peppermint tea was used to end constipation. Rosehip tea was used to prevent bladder infections. Chamomile tea was used for tummy aches. It gets rid of whatever is bothering your stomach one way or another...Regular orange pekoe tea with a shot of wine in it was the remedy for menstrual cramps when I was a child. The grown up version is tea with whiskey and honey, but children weren't allowed whiskey in my family (except for teething babies....just on my gums...geesh...) just wine.
Thinking about that got me reminiscing about my first year of marriage, and my very first tummy ache as a married woman. Keep in mind that I moved into the house he was already living in, so this odd question seemed less odd to me..

HRM: Bob, where do we keep the chamomile tea?
Bob: Huh?
HRM: The chamomile tea. You know. For upset stomachs...
Bob: I have some old Pepto Bismal on the top shelf of the left cabinet in the kitchen...
HRM: That's okay. I don't mind making myself a cup of tea...
Bob: Helen, we don't HAVE any camowhatchamacallit tea...
HRM: Then what do we do about tummy aches..
Bob: We take Pepto Bismal...
HRM: But...it's pink....
Bob: Helen, it is all we have....

So I took the Pepto. As directed. The next day I notice while in the bathroom at school that MY TONGUE IS BLACK!

I was so scared! I thought maybe I bit it, got gangrene, and now it would need removal. HOW DOES A TEACHER TEACH WITHOUT HER TONGUE? What I mean is, a teacher needs to be able to talk, doesn't she...
I go to the doctor immediately after work...

Dr. Right: What seems to be the trouble...
HRM: My tongue is black.
Dr. Right: Have you had an upset stomach lately?
HRM: Yes. Last night. Oh my...My tongue never turned black from a stomach ailment before! What's wrong with me?
Dr. Right: Did you take anything for it with Bismuth.
HRM: I took Pepto Bismal.
Dr. Right: That did it.
HRM: (II wail) OH NO! WILL MY TONGUE ALWAYS BE THIS COLOR? I NEVER APPRECIATED HAVING A PINK TONGUE UNTIL NOW!
Dr. Right: Your tongue will be fine in a few days, provided you aren't taking the Bismuth. The longer you take it, the longer it will take for your tongue to return to normal...

Well, how was I supposed to know? I NEVER had that problem with chamomile tea. And I still don't...

How about joining my friend Wendy in her Life is Funny blog carnival? It's more fun than a barrel of monkeys on a two wheel bike.

10 comments:

SarahBeeCreations said...

Rosehip tea is my favorite! It's hard to find around here, for some reason. I didn't know about the Pepto - I've never taken it either.
Thank you for sharing! As always, you make me laugh.

Marni said...

Bismuth can turn your tongue black??? Cack! I don't take Pepto because upon opening the bottle, I want to puke due to the smell, but now that I know I could get a Chow dog tongue out of the deal, no thanks, I'll drink tea...

Bridget Chumbley said...

Helen, tea is wonderful, and it does help tummy aches.

Oh... that pink stuff turns your poop black too! Just so ya know.

Kristi Fornshell said...

My family has always been a clan of tea drinkers. As
kids wewere given "camel" tea as my Brother called it
Now, I drink Constant Comment. No smart remarks Ya'll. Grandma said " it's good for what ails you".

jasonS said...

I didn't know pepto did that! I know we had it in our house growing up, but I never remember taking it and we don't have it now to my knowledge.

So weird- you have to ask why is it turning my tongue black and can that really be okay?!

katdish said...

Oh, I'm cracking UP!

I went to Cozumel and chewed pepto tablets every day to keep from getting sick. Worked like a charm, but my tongue was completely black the whole time. You went to the doctor? Seriously?

Snort!

Oh yeah, and the poop thing is correct. You're welcome.

Wendy said...

A black tongue, huh? I hear you can get those from googling yourself too much...

Annie K said...

Well, Marni, if opening a bottle of Pepto and puking makes you feel better....

sherrymeneley said...

Oh my goodness, a black tounge - that is disturbing. I will never take that pink stuff, never, ever, never!

Tracy said...

Gee I always thought Pepto seemed gross before; now I'll really never take it!