Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Keep Asking

Keep asking the question until you get the answer you want. NO, not on the same day. I mean spaced out....
Bob and I like to hang out at Barnes and Noble on our days out sometimes. We are there for an hour about once or twice a month. We go our separate ways to check out what we want (him History, me Bargains and later Mystery), and we meet back at the Barnes and Noble Cafe. I am usually done first, because I scoop up everything I think I want, and then sort what I don't at the cafe. Yes, I am one of those horrid people who will pick up seven books, look through them all, then select two and let the people who work their put them back. I consider it a service to them: helping them keep their job in todays economy. If you work for Barnes and Noble and are reading this, there is no need to thank me. We got to look out for one another. Just pay it forward is what I say...
Anyways, Barnes and Noble Cafe has signs up that if you sit there, you need to be a customer, otherwise find other seating around the store (which may be taken, and therefore more difficult to decide where to meet up). I don't blame them, though. The cafe is a business, and few businesses encourage loitering. Okay, coffee shops do encourage loitering, but want you to do it with a coffee and sweet roll bought from them. So, wanting the easy peasy seating, I always order a cup of coffee. But, knowing me, do you think I make it easy. But then, there is a different barrista each time I go, so neither do they!

Barrista: Hello, can I help you? (It should be "May I help you?", but I stopped being the grammar police when I stopped teaching and started a blog. Making my own errors here is a bit humbling out there, you know?)
HRM: I'm looking......What do you have that's sweet and sugarfree? (I'm still working with the Atkins. I'm not perfect. I had a cookie yesterday. Two cookies. Okay, three cookies and that's my final offer..Wait, what was I saying?)
Barrista: You can add as much equal to your coffee as you like when I hand you your plain coffee.
HRM: No sugarfree flavors, huh? Okay then....I'll take a small plain coffee. (Then I don't add equal. Unless it's a flavored coffee, I like it with cream, and unsweetened. I know. Weird. Who would have thought I'd be weird about coffee? Only everyone....)

And that is the conversation I have been having with Barnes and Noble Cafe barristas at least once a month for almost a year (since Bob and I found someone to watch mom for a few hours once a week). That is until Saturday.

Barrista: Hello, what would you like? (Oooo, I different approach. I feel hopeful already.)
HRM: What do you have that's sweet and sugarfree?
Barrista: We have sugarfree carmel shot, and sugarfree vanilla shot.
HRM: Really? You have something sweet and sugarfree? Because you didn't always?
Barrista: I know, but we have been getting a lot of requests for sugarfree flavored coffee for a while now.
HRM: That's beautiful. (I sniffle). I'll take a large sugarfree carmel....

So that's what I learned this week. Keep asking. One day the answer might be different. In case you haven't thought of it yet, your children already know this. If I had been a smarter teacher, I could have learned it from them. But then, I was stubborn. Yes, I mean the double meaning: to stubborn to learn it then, and too stubborn to give them their way just because they were being annoying. Anyways, if your grocery store, coffee shop, or whatever doesn't have what you want, keep asking anyways. (People who want sugarfree coolwhip, take note). The answer may change. Then again...

So this duck walks into a pet store and says to the clerk, "Got any duck food?"
"No", says the clerk, "we only sell dog food and cat food."
"OK", says the duck and walks out.
The next day the duck walks in the store and says "Uh, got any duck food?"
The clerk once again replies, "No, like I told you, we only sell cat food and dog food."
"OK", says the duck and walks out.
The next day the duck walks in the store and says "Uh, got any duck food?"
The clerk says "Hey look, I told you two times already that we only sell cat food and dog food!"
"OK", says the duck and walks out.
The next day the duck walks in the store and says "Uh, got any duck food?"
This time the clerk yells "We don't sell any duck food and if you come in here one more time asking, I am going to nail your little webbed feet to the ground!"
"OK", says the duck and walks out.
The next day the duck walks in the store and says "Uh, got any nails?"
"No", says the confused clerk.
The duck says, "Got any duck food?"


Wendy said...

I think the real reason that they got the sugar-free stuff in is that they were hoping that if they did that for you, you'd start putting your own dang books away. Just sayin'...

Beth said...

Oh, this was such a perfect Helen post!! Quirky and fun with a message and a joke to end it...just love it.

And yeah, I run, but guess who made a batch of instant chocolate pudding at 11 o'clock last night and ate most of it...I really wanted cookies but there weren't any in the house.

UKZoe said...

Love the joke and so wish we had bookshops with cafe or coffee shops in them around here!

Billy Coffey said...

You mean I'm not the only person who sits in the Barnes and Noble Cafe trying to figure out which of the dozen books in front of me to buy?

I feel so much better now.

That was awesome, Helen.

katdish said...

Was that duck's name Helen? I bet it totally was. Thanks for the smile this morning, my friend!

Peter P said...

Jesus taught a lesson about persistence using a widow and a judge as his characters. If he had been alive now, he might just have used you and a barrista!

Great Post Helen.

jasonS said...

You are changing the world, helen- one Barnes & Noble at a time! That was great and the joke was perfect. Thanks!

Candace Jean July 16 said...

Is that the Aflac duck? He looks like my Facebook friend.

You are such a good teacher, Helen. Just look at what you taught B & N! Gosh, they now have shots!!

Super duper post!

sherri said...

I love this! And I know you didn't know this but my all time favorite pet was my pet Daffy (as in duck). Really. She was THE best pet and looked just like your photo (well, not YOUR photo, but your duck photo.)

A cat killed her...

Did I mention I don't like cats?

Helen said...

Wendy, while that is a possibility, I don't want to take a chance on getting someone fired.
Beth, thanks. Pudding is good. And they have sugar free versions. Hmmm....Puuuuudinnnng.
UKZoe, thank you for commenting. I hope to see more of you here.
Billy, thanks. Yeah, Barnes and Noble Cafe is the most comfortable way to sort the books.
katdish, thanks for the kind words. I'll have to ask Nick the duck's name the next time I see him (My friend Nick from prayer meeting told us this joke, making it holy...)
Peter, thanks. I was thinking about the whole ask, seek, knock thing, but was too overwhelmed by sugar free flavored coffee to carry it out.
Jason, thanks. Now I'll see what I can do at Starbucks..
Candy, I didn't think to ask if the duck had a job. I just googled white duck only pictures (because when I googled duck only pictures I got people actually ducking gunfire) and found this one.
Sherri, I had a pet duck named Daffy when I was a girl, too. Neighbors threatened to call the police due to zoning ordinances though, so daddy had to take her back to the farm.

Annie K said...

No sugar free? What kind of Starbuck's is that?