Thursday, September 17, 2009

Stream of Consciousness


I guess you could say I am struggling with ideas for a post. I have been having serious thoughts lately, and sometimes it's hard to do serious. No, not depressing. I am not feeling sad, mad, anxious, or anything like that. Just serious. Serious is not the opposite of joyful, by the way. I have been feeling so incredibly happy and peaceful, but in a serious way.
Bob and I have been making some plans. Joyful plans. Serious plans. I don't think I have ever felt so happy and serious at the same time since marrying Bob. Plans that I am almost scared to share. I'm scared that these plans will fail, and my failure will be documented in cyber space for the world to see. Which kind of reeks of hubris, since the "world" isn't reading my blog, a tight knit group of friends are. So maybe I lied. Maybe I am anxious...

"Do not let your heart be troubled. Trust in God. Trust also in me." John 14:1

If any verse has been a "life verse" for me, this has been it. Not because I do it well, but because it is what I need to be reminded of...

Trust is tough though when you aren't sure if everything you are hoping and planning for is going to fall through, and leave you without any more hopes and dreams. Which makes me wonder if I have been making my own hopes and dreams my idol...

"Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God— children born not of natural descent,[c] nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God." John 1:12-13

Am I allowed two life verses? Because it means everything to me to know that I am a child of God no matter how screwed up my thoughts or feelings are, because Jesus is my Savior. That isn't going to change no matter how these plans pan out...

4 comments:

jasonS said...

Serious, funny, whatever- we love you, Helen. These are great thoughts and reminders. You'll get there- I have faith.

Wendy said...

Good things to come! Monkey butt hearts to you! :o)

Candace Jean July 16 said...

Joyful and serious plans are the best! I can't wait to see what's next for you.

My life verses seem to change with the seasons of my life. I think it's fine to have 2. Or more. Go for it, Helen, just have a life Book. Something there for every season, every reason.

You always inspire me to dig a little deeper in my faith. Can't put my finger on it, but you do. Thank you.

Annie K said...

Helen, do share your plans! (You can always email me - you probably need the backup prayer support!)