Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Blessing

"With faith, comes love. With love, peace. With peace, blessings. With blessings, God is present. With God present, there is no need." According to the Bronner catalog, this is a Hungarian blessing. I believe them. I never learned Hungarian. My dad tried to raise me American, but not too American (meaning no boyfriends before graduation, no late night parties, no talking back, sanctioned fun only, etc).
Anyway, these words are on an ornament I am thinking of getting a relative of my dad's for Christmas. We have sort of been on the outs for several years because she said something hurtful to my mom. My mom forgave her almost immediately. Years later, I still refer to her as "my dad's relative" rather than Aunt Agnes. When mom makes me talk to her (yes, I am 39, and my bedridden mom can "make" me do things, I'm a wuss) I don't call her anything. I am polite, nice, and whatever else it takes to keep mom from lecturing me, but I am not forgiving. Forgiving her for hurting mom has been impossible. It has been impossible because I haven't wanted to forgive her.
That has changed. I don't know how or why. I saw this ornament in the Bronners catalog, Hungarian on one side, English on the other, and now I have to send it to her. I have searched my heart, and I am no longer angry. Mom has forgiven. She has pleaded with me to forgive. Now I have. And I so want her to have this ornament, made in her homeland, with her mother tongue written on it. Go figure. Stuff changes. I guess sometimes God changes our hearts when we aren't looking. I'm glad. Mine feels better. Forgiveness is a blessing to the forgiver and not only the forgiven. Who knew? Gotta go order an ornament now.. God bless you.


P.S. Bronners is not giving me any commission for mentioning their name. I just like being specific sometimes, vague others. Bronners, Bronners, Bronners.

2 comments:

Sherri said...

You SPOSP YOU! ("Bronners, Bronners")

This made me cry.

Agnes has no idea how big this "gift" really is!

What a wonderful CHristmas gift for her and to yourself.

You are a wonderful soul.

Helen said...

You are sweet to say that, but I should have forgiven her a long time ago because, as mom said, I know Jesus would want me to. But when mom pointed out that Jesus forgave from the cross, I pointed out that it doesn't say anywhere in the bible that He forgave anyone for dissing His mom. They knew better than that, because He would have zapped them all with lightening. He would have at least put that whip He made especially for the money changers in the temple to more use. Mom would just shake her head.
I guess the important thing is that God has healed the anger in my heart toward my aunt, and it is time to move on. God forgives everyone, even me for being unforgiving (I know the parable of the unforgiving servant, but I think the one where the son says "No!", but then does his dad's bidding anyway fits better).