Monday, March 30, 2009

It's the Middle of Lent....

I know, I was bad. I wasn't supposed to say what I was doing for Lent, but I did. I told you all I was going to do eco atkins, so I guess it is only fair to tell you, I failed on the eco part. You see, eco atkins is vegetarian atkins. It wasn't working because I was feel all sick and week. I know, sounds like an excuse, but I had to ask myself, why was I doing a diet for Lent. Was it vanity? Perhaps partly. I can't lay claim to entirely pure motives. Ever. But my pastor said that I shouldn't let that keep me paralyzed from doing any good at all. He said the devil just loves that. (I know, I told you all I hate talking about him. The devil. Not my pastor. But my pastor doesn't go talking about Stan all the time. Actually, hardly ever, so I have to listen when he does.) My problem, in the big picture, is lack of energy. I lack energy because I have too much weight to carry around. I would have too much weight to carry around if I lost half of my body weight, which makes trying overwhelming sometimes. Especially since those couple of weeks I went on an 800 Calorie a day diet, and gained five pounds. That was when I knew I was in Hell, but I digress. I decided to put the power of Lent behind me this time, as I tried yet another diet, in the hopes that even a little weight loss would increase my energy level even a little. Then maybe I could do something tangible that God is calling me to do. Something that helps others, and by others, I mean others beyond the scope of my own self interest.
So, when my energy level actually decreased, I adjusted the plan to regular atkins, with two meatless days during the week. I had considered upping it to three, but decided to just let my body adjust to this for now. Have I lost any weight? I don't know. I decided that if the purpose was vanity, then I shouldn't have done this for Lent (but if I didn't do it for Lent, I think I would have been too discouraged to continue by now). If the purpose is energy, like I have asserted, then the scale won't measure that, will it?
I do feel more lively. Is it the diet? Is it the new mattress? Is it new shoes (feet less swollen now, BTW)? Is it better weather?
Who knows? For now, I have to keep on keepin' on.
Sorry Sherri. I know you must be disappointed in me, talking about my Lenten journey with this and all.
How do I feel about the no flour, potatoes, sugar, or rice thing? Kinda like the singer in the video, without the lovely voice....


sherri said...

Helen- you never disappoint. I think the reason we are not supposed to talk about it is not to come across as bragging or pious- you've never done either so How could I be disappointed?

You're just stating the facts.

And I will say this about mine. YOU are doing much better than me. That's all I'm gonna' say.

Helen said...

Sherri, that is sweet of you to say, but I am sure that I would see it differently. I think we both see our own faults up close. Which, for me anyway, can be paralyzing. That is why I really appreciate what my pastor had said. It helps me look beyond and say "Yeah, okay, there is a taint. There will always be a taint. Stop examining the taint and work on it!"

katdish said...

I have battled with weight my entire life and have been on Jenny Craig, Nutri-System and Quick Weight Loss. The ONLY thing that has ever had any long term results is Atkins. I know everyone says it's unhealthy, but I do NOT have high blood pressure or high cholesterol. The only thing is, it's not a diet. You have to decide the drastically cut down on bread, most desserts, and fruits like bananas, apples and oranges. Plus, you have to be sure and drinks lots of water. Ron follows the same plan, so that makes it easier.

Helen said...

Katdish, I see what you are saying. I am not planning to go to Paneria after Easter. But I do think lent has made me more disciplined. Bob and I went to a movie yesterday (the Blart mall cop guy one), and if it had not been Lent, I would have been like "Oh, a small popcorn wouldn't hurt, or maybe a hot pretzel. I've been good all week...". The plan for me is to enjoy some carbs on Easter Sunday, weigh myself Monday, and hopefully find myself encouraged to continue.

Oh, and you look great in your pictures. I never would have guessed that you battled with weight issues.

Beth said...

That's my favorite Sesame Street song ever. I sometimes cry when I hear it. Even when I was a kid it made me want to cry (in a good way).

Anyway, I'm glad you gave us an update. I wanted to ask how it was going, but I didn't want to be nosy.

I think the more energy thing makes a lot of sense. If you feel better, keep at it! But I don't diet, so I have no good advice...I just run after kids and now I just run...and hopefully the sweets won't catch up with me for a few years. :P

♥ Kathy said...

My sister has had a struggle with her weight for most of her life. She lost a whole lot of weight with the Atkins diet but eventually went off of it and gained it all back. She said she just couldn't be without the foods she had to cut out. She doesn't post very often but does occasionally and has talked a lot about her weight issues and fight to get it under control if you ever want to visit her. I love you to pieces already Helen and as long as you're happy, I'm happy ♥

♥ Kathy said...

Oh, the last link just went to my sisters blog...I meant to give you THIS POST that is specifically about her weight loss struggle. *big hugs*

Michelle said...

Helen your doing good! Don't worry too much about "diet" just do what feels right for you. It's more a way of life than anything else.

I don't know much about Lent but it is a form of a resolution isn't it? I won't do this or eat that for a certain amount of time? I will lose X amount of weight or I will give up sex for Lent?

Just be!!!

Annie K said...

I have a very good friend that has dealt with weight issues her whole life as well. She is a beautiful person and has the sweetest heart and I know it's a struggle for her. She tends to heap condemnation on herself for failing diets. I think that's wrong to do that - so don't condemn yourself for what you didn't do. Just start again,tomorrow. And Helen, you have one of the most awesome hearts ever. ;)

Helen said...

Beth, actually, no advice is good advice. I have tried lots of things over the years, and some have done more harm than good. Plus, I don't want to abandon atkins before Lent. It is not that I am planning to abandon it after, but after Easter is when I plan on evaluating whether it has been working. Ask myself "Am I better off than I was six weeks ago..."
Kathy, thanks. I left a comment by your sister. It is good to meet up with someone with the same struggles.
Michelle, I could choose to give something up for Lent, or do something different to remember Christ's sacrafice during Lent....My options are open. I chose atkins because I think that losing weight will help me to be more active in serving God, and that if I dedicate this for Lent, I will be more motivated to stick with this when I feel discouraged.
Lent is 40 days in commemoration of the forty days Jesus spent praying in the desert, so there is more motivation for me to plow away when discouraged.
Annie, thanks. While I failed at eco atkins, the atkins is going okay. I miss sugar, white flour, popcorn, and rice, but, like cookie monster not being able to reach the moon, I see that it is best right now.