Thursday, July 23, 2009

The Day I Told Bob My Deep Dark Secret




I'm sorry. I am tardy with my life is funny post. No excuses. Just on with it...

Since this week was Bob and my thirteenth wedding anniversary, I thought I'd share a funny moment from our honeymoon in Hawaii.

We were going to take a helicopter ride in Kauaii the next day. We needed to tell our honest weights to the person booking. Honest weight....yeah right. I shorted my weight by about 100+ pounds. My dear Bob was too unfamiliar with such matters to realize I lied big time. But before bed I made the mistake of reading the brochure....yikes....I could be responsible to the death of up to five people?!!! I could not sleep all night. Finally Bob wakes up because he hears me crying.

Bob: What's wrong, honey?
Helen: Bob...
Bob: Yes honey...
Helen: I've kept a secret from you...
Bob: Okay (gently)
Helen: I'm... I'm....
Bob: Yes?
Helen: I'm fat!

(Bob had always been so sweet and attentive to me, I actually believed up to then that he never noticed my weight problem, and I certainly wasn't bringing my faults to his attention willfully. I know. Foolish girl.)
And THAT was the first time I ever saw Bob's dear in the headlights look. How does he answer that? ANYTHING he says will get him in trouble (I was and am fat, and Bob does not lie. Not even to save his skin. Bless his heart...) Really? What are his options? "So I've noticed!" ? "I know."? "I have eyes"? So for the first time he gave me that dear in the headlights look with the response that has worked for him ever since.

Bob: I love you....


I proceeded to tell him my lie of commission as well as my lie of ommision. He called the helicopter people early in the morning. They said this isn't a first for them, and allowed us to book a ride with less people. As a matter of fact, it was early and we were the only ones on it. Very romantic.

Come check out Wendy's life is funny blog carnival.

5 comments:

Bridget Chumbley said...

He sounds like a "keeper"! Happy 13th :)

Rebecca on The Homefront said...

"I love you..."

He is so sweet...and very wise under pressure. Happy 13th anniversary to you both!

Wendy said...

Bob is wise beyond his years. :o)

jasonS said...

That is a fantastic story. I've had many such deer in the headlights moments with my wife crying and asking me questions. I learned not to try to fix it (which is my 1st inclination), but it took me a while to get that. Good for Bob!

Helen said...

Bridget, Thank you. He truly is.
Rebecca, I can't think of anything else he could have said that wouldn't have just made things worse.
Wendy, very wise, indeed.
Jason, Sometimes there are no right answers. Reassurance is all we want.