Friday, July 17, 2009

My 100 Best Tweets This Week...





FOTTSP is hosting it's first ever blog carnival. Click on the title to find out more about it. My first inclination was to write a post where I roasted spammers who are following me on twitter. The plan was to get verbally all Hungarian on them. It wasn’t going to be pretty, but it had a great potential for being funny.
But, you see, I have the habit of pushing the @Helenatrandom button about once every day to find out if I missed any @replies, and this week I found two people who I wasn’t following because I thought they were spammers sending me @replies. I checked out their recent tweets, and sure enough, they weren’t spammers. Now, while I am fairly sure that the people who are tweeting that we should follow this link to get more followers, or that link to learn how to earn money by blowing our noses in unison are spammers, I hesitate to roast them now for fear that I am mistaking a naïve soul for a spammer (which ironically may actually make me a naïve soul (did I use ironic correctly there, Kathy ;-)). So instead of the Spammer Roast (tweets you’ll see toward the end, if your eyes hold up) that I built up a bit earlier in the week, I am going to pull a switcharoo, and pick my 100 favorite tweets to post. It might help to read it from the bottom up in order to get the flow...Maybe I should have wrote it that way...Maybe next time...

@CandySteele Eat some cake, Candy. Do it for me. Do it for fottsp. Do it for bloggers everywhere around the world whose B-day isn't 2day

I am still ticked about blogger thinking fottsp is spam... We prefer to think of it as bologna...

@billycoffey I'd promise to behave myself, but being a christian I ought not to tell lies...

@katdish Dang! Look what you made me do! I am at 95 highlight tweets for my blog, so I've been trying to hold back the funny...

@katdish Excellent! A penny for our thoughts. Mine would get me approximately $23.69.

Of course it won't stick. I shall call it "The Building Formerly Known as the Sears Tower". So let it be tweeted, so let it be done.

RT @CBSnews RT @theearlyshow -Famed skyscraper is Sears Tower no longer but locals doubt new name will stick.Read more: http://bit.ly/16Iadr

PLS RT! Tens of thousands have signed to bring back the Sears Tower name! Have you? http://www.ItsTheSearsTower...

I really don't think I belong in Sytherin...

I just took "What Hogwarts House Would the Sorting Hat Put You In?" and got: Slytherin! Try it ➔ http://bit.ly/172JEH

@CandySteele Oh yeah, Happy Birthday.

@PuriChristos I apologize. I didn't mean to push to hard.

@PuriChristos Are you here? Am I forgiven for the counting kidding yesterday?

@br8kthru Scarey for me? I'm the one wearing ankle length dresses with doily collars..Your the one who should be scared...

@PeterPollock @br8kthru Love is a battlefield...

@CandySteele Candy, Candy, Candy...These things can't be forced...They just happen...

@CandySteele We love you. We only tease the ones we love...

@CandySteele Are you kidding? You are my new hero! Nothing I, @katdish, or @weighwhat tweeted all week can match that!

RT @CandySteele @billycoffey special, bonding moments. There was lots of moaning that day.

@PuriChristos In tweeting about her and her husband sharing a hospital room..(continued)

@katdish THAT so needs to be in the post...I didn't retweet, but you did...I love how our posts will at least explain eachother...

@CandySteele Oh, you had a pretty good line yourself on Friday! I hear @BillyCoffey is STILL blushing...

I just took "What Kind Of Music Are You? " and got: You Are A Pop Princess!!! Try it ➔ http://bit.ly/LGfGc

Mark Twain is following me. It only seems right that I follow him back....

@HerbieGookins Almost...velour is appropriate everywhere, except in the shower....I won't be describing my shower uniform anytime soon...

@HerbieGookins Muumuus are also appropriate dollar store attire...

@weightwhat Oh stop it! I love my dishwasher, and my husband just deals with it..(It's the slow cooker he worries about...)

RT @StephenAtHome why does X always get to mark the spot? i bet Q would like a turn

@SBeeCreations Hi...that last tweet was me, wasn't it? All I can say is...ooops...

@Weightwhat If you aren't there, I may as well pack up my things and go home....Wait a minute! I am home!

RT @HerbieGookins Called. The. Cemetery. Number. Post to follow on FOTTSP...///One dollar and seventy five cents heading your way via email

@PuriChristos Congratulations...I know how pleased you must be...I felt the same when Brown's Chicken commented on my blog...

@PuriChristos But if you unfollow me you won't know what I am saying about you...:P''''

@katdish Really? I don't think of him as offensive...I think of him as needing proper supervision....

@weightwhat Well it's only fair..Daddy probably drives him to school so he can get that high falutin' math knowledge down pat...

@weightwhat Apparently he got his kindergartner to help him fix it, because it is corrected now...

I just took "Which Classic Hollywood Actress Are You?" and got: Doris Day! Try it ➔ http://bit.ly/StMt2

@katdish I feel like the twit at your Church who asked how they felt when they first found out a certain red suited man was fictional...

@katdish Think about that question really really hard....

@weightwhat How sweet of @CrazyGidgetDog...so generous...Does she fart toward Wisconsin, like me?

@weightwhat This IS my happy place! And the skanky ho 's are coming for me here!

@weightwhat I don't know...do you think we need to tone down the funny...to keep the editting more manageable...

@ImAPennyPincher OK then...I guess you are stuck with Jack...I hope his make up doesn't clash with Ronald's...

@weightwhat They have a cardboard cutout of him attached to a bench like he is sitting. I wanna sit on his lap and pretend to snog!

@weightwhat Quick! Tweet something life changing that I can retweet for Skanky ho' follower...

@weightwhat That reminds me of a picture I am planning to take at the McDonald's playland with the cardboard cutout of Ronald McDonald...

@weightwhat I got the same skanky ho follower twice in the last couple of minutes. Hopefully we will be a good example to her...

@buzzbyannies Well that explains are google searches on analytics. It's you, baby, it's you!

@billycoffey What could be more innocent than talk about ankle length dresses with doily collars? Ah....a matching headband...

@ImAPennyPincher That'll teach you to get all tarted up for Church..(Just kidding...please don't be offended...)

@buzzbyannies I happen to like their modest fashion sense! Showing the knees and cleavage is highly overrated..esp. if we're talking mine..

@weightwhat Completely confused in a most Christian and holy fashion....ankle length dresses...doily collars... the whole shebang...

@chrissulli No..I am seriously hoping to start a Christian trend where we label are stuff porn to redirect people searching for it on google

@chrissulli http://bit.ly/2KV5de As you can see, I was half kidding. And half not kidding....

@chrissulli It was probably my porn outreach program that tipped the scales..

@chrissulli I thought diamonds came from pressed coal, not pressed crap...It is clear to me now why my blog was rated PG....

@katdish ZZ Top is going to guest host on RAW (WWE Wrestling on Mondays, USA Channel) next week.How far does your devotion go?Will u watch?

RT @StephenAtHome: i believe michael jackson's moon-walking was faked on a soundstage in Arizona

@weightwhat I will keep in mind that I may be too random for understand me if I use Seismic. Something to think about...

@CrazyGidgetDog Don't worry hon....angels need to get their wings somehow...

@marni71 I know a shark is a water creature..Does he help you clean the pool...of unwanted guests? What's a Dyson?

@weightwhat @CandySteele recommended Seismic to me a while back, but I was too chicken to try it. Today I felt like "Eh, What the Hey..."

@br8kthru My family refuses to read my blog...which I suppose is good. I usually change their names if I write about them anyway..

Well, I better go.... The livingroom refuses to clean itself..I know...stubborn livingroom...I'll be back later.

@marni71 ntinue) are older now. I somehow thought Jimmy and David would remain 8 and 6 forever. I guessed she'd be my age, though...

@marni71 Good morning! I had fun Saturday. I went to a picnic given my a classmate I hadn't seen since I was 12. Her and her brothers (co

@weightwhat That's why my motto is alcohol first!

@weightwhat True...I don't drink when I am taking antibiotics...The alcohol weakens the drug so it doesn't work...so what'd be the point?

@weightwhat I only drink to prevent snakebite...AND I haven't been bitten yet!

@weightwhat Good Gravy! Are people feeding you chicken soup remedies and making you breathe steam...Send for someone who believes in liquor

@weightwhat I am not sure if drinking Drambuie straight helps or not...For some reason, I can't remember...

@weightwhat inued) I will give up the booze and see the doctor and take his stinkin' perscriptions...but only after a give booze a chance...

@weightwhat Before I see dr., I try Drambuie in a cup of hot tea. It is very soothing. If that doesn't work after a couple of nights (cont

@weightwhat Wow...that's a long time to wait...I never had pneumonia, but I get chronic bronchitis, and I hate it. I like the cure...

@weightwhat So...did @BillyCoffey get and @ofmercy get over the shock of us from Friday?

@weightwhat I had a good one. Yesterday I was at a picnic with people I haven't seen in 28 years! Boy, do they look different....

@CandySteele Yep! One of my favorite carni circuit bands, Hi Infidelity, is playing a few blocks away today!

@buzzbyannies I'm good. Bob's test was good. We are going to have a good time today. Things are better than they've been in weeks...

I have a mommysitter today. We are going on a picnic with old friends in an hour, and then to carni concert with my cousins tonight.Sweeet..

@katdish Good night. Don't forget to loosen the doily collar before going to bed...You don't want to choke...

@billycoffey Looks likewe are giving you something new to have nightmares about...You are welcome...

@ofmercy and doily collars..

@ofmercy I'm a bad influence on them....Oh, who am I kidding? We are bad influences on each other. At home we wear ankle length dresses..

RT@RT @ihealthtube iHealthTube Video: What is Asthma? - http://bit.ly/1AW59d///I don't know. Does it have a good beat, like "What is Love"?

@katdish @CandySteele Well, at least no kidney stones....

@katdish As soon as I saw it, I was like.."What the...That is so unlike Candy to tweet that..."

@CandySteele Good night, Candy....Do you know how badly I want to joke about moaning tweet?...I will exercise some self discipline..teehee

@katdish And THAT is a series that can go on a weekly basis for years to come...

@katdish Don't worry. I'd write a weekly post for you. "Things My Family Does to Annoy Me that I'm too Chicken to Share On My Own Blog"...

RT @1bizzportal I am building Multiple Streams of Income Here. http://homeincomeportal.com... http://freemoneytipdeals.co... As in urine...

@weightwhat I am thinking of doing my own twitter update of spammers who follow me titled "How do these people find me?"

RT @Healthlove You need to get your Limited Edition Obama wristband before they are all gone... ///Again, how do these people find me?

RT @garbagelovers Full version X men origins leaked online Good quality @www.own10dollarsite.com /// How did this guy find me?

@ofmercy Oh Goody! Come join us....We need someone new to bother....Let @BillyCoffey rest...for a moment...

@BillyCoffey And I am the one supposed to be making you blush on twitter! @CandySteele TEACH ME!

@CandySteele Candy! That was so funny! I knew what you meant, but thought you were pulling an @katdish with the double entendre.

@weightwhat It's a nice butt....I'm generous like that...

@katdish Thanks. You'll like this: I told the med student before the procedure: "I'm glad my husband's butt is in your hands..."

@CandySteele Yes! It is awesome having a friend in another time zone distracting me from my worries and making me laugh..and try to top her.

RT @BunBunRabbit Just thought that I'd mention that all went well with Bob's tests. Only minor issue. Very minor. Thank God!

7 comments:

Wendy said...

Love you. Love your tweets. 'Nuff said.

sherri said...

Helen- you have the best one/two liners eva!

katdish said...

So, apparently you are following some folks that I also need to follow...

How many did you have last week? You can tell me. It will be our little secret...

Annie K said...

Apparently I had a slow tweet week.

jasonS said...

One of the highlights of my week was the little back and forth between me, you, and Peter with the "love" songs. That may be sad, but I don't care. :)

Tweet on, dear Helen, tweet on.

Candace Jean July 16 said...

I hear they recommend colonoscopies for twitterhea. I know where you can get one.

Wendy said...

Watch out Helen! The place that Candy recommends for colonoscopies enduces moaning!