Steph at the Red Clay Diaries is participating in Things I Love Thursday. Well, I love a good joke. Here's hoping this is one.
Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you have Attention Deficit Disorder, please press any numbers you can in rapid sequence.
It won't matter what the response is since you wouldn't remember it anyway.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you have Tourette Syndrome,please press 8.
The person responding will scream "Gaak! Twirk! Eep, eep! !@##! You, **=+#!"
If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.
If you are phobic, don't press anything.
If you are anal retentive, please hold.