Thursday, May 7, 2009

Like They Weren't Thinking It Themselves.....





Okay folks, time for another .......




Well, you know how random I get, right? I was thinking about my friend Candace the other day. We call her Candy. Very appropriate, because she is sweet. Not over sweet and sickening, like the cheap stuff you get in the dollar store, but wonderfully sweet, like imported chocolate. Godiva chocolate. Top quality. She is da bomb.
Why I was thinking about her, I can't remember. But her name led me to thinking about the time we had a safety expert come talk to the faculty at my old school during a meeting. The neighborhood had some crime issues, and sometimes we stayed late, so our principal thought the best course of action on this was to keep us late to listen to a safety expert tell us how to remain safe when we are leaving school late. I haven't gotten to the funny part yet. Hang on.
She was blah blahing, and finally said that we should never scream "HELP!" because people will ignore us in order to look out for their own safety. She asked if we knew what to yell in order to get people's attention. No one answered for what seemed like a long time, so I yelled out "FREE CANDY AND BOOZE! FOLLOW ME!".
That was not the right answer. Everyone acted like they weren't thinking it, too, giggling and shaking their heads like I was some sort of an oddball . In case you were wondering, the correct answer is "FIRE!". If you didn't know that, you now have something you can write for Musings of A Housewife's What I Learned this Week blog carnival. See yesterday's post to find her blog.
I still think you would get more attention with "FREE CANDY AND BOOZE!" Oh well. Here's to hoping that none of us ever have to find out.....

9 comments:

katdish said...

That was an incredibly random path towards the conclusion of that story.

Fantastic.

Is it okay to yell movie in a crowded firehouse?

sherri said...

So our friend Candy is the IMPORTED Chocolate! I'm that off-brand that tastes like they left something out...
Anyway, loved this post. You're too funny.

Candace Jean July 16 said...

I'm so glad you think I'm "wonderfully sweet, like imported chocolate" rather than that bag o' off-brand Sour Patch kids from Walmart. "Candy" is such a sweet name...when you're twelve.So we ran into a friend a while back, and he said to his 4 year old "You remember who this is? What's her name?" The kid couldn't remember, so his dad said "You know, it's what you get on Halloween" and the kid said "Oh yeah, free candy and a trick."

I love my name. Seriously, what was Mother thinking? That I'd never be 57 (someday)???

Thanks for the shout-out, friend. Funny post, as always. "Free candy and booze! Follow me!" deserves it's own word cloud.

Beth said...

HA!

I'm yelling- FREE MONEY!!

Wendy said...

I came over because I heard someone say "free candy"... So where is it?

Helen, I just wanted to let you know that I added a new song to my playlist because it made me think of you at the grocery store. Dancing With Myself. Yup, it's all for you!

Helen said...

Katdish, thank you. And I am sure firefighters watch movies, so why not?
Sherri, you are shoes. I don't know how much these cost, but this is you. High, golden, and fancy!Candace, she was thinking that you were the sweetest thing ever! What's a word cloud?
Beth, I am sure that that would work just as well.
Wendy, thanks for the musical tribute on your blog. Help yourself to some candy while you're here...

Steph @Red Clay Diaries said...

I loved your random humor, as usual. I would love to have seen the suppressed laughter in that room.

[insert funny statement here because I can't think of anything, on account of the FOUR HOURS I spent entertaining three kids in an airport. My sanity is now in question.]

Helen said...

Steph, thanks. Keep in mind this was a Catholic school. My principal was not amused. That is, until she realized that I was being serious. Then she thought it was funny....

jasonS said...

Absolutely brilliant! And I think that makes more sense than yelling, "Fire" any day.