Monday, May 4, 2009
What Passes For Wisdom
Bob and I went to see "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" yesterday. I enjoyed it. Yes, it was a "chick flick". I like those. And Bob likes it when I have those "I am so glad you are with me..." moments, so it is kind of win-win. Momma always says that while men may not want their women to be constantly clingy, once in a blue moon helps them feel appreciated.
Anyways, it was a good movie, but it used the quote "Whoever cares the least in a relationship, has the power." I never realized before that that was common advice. A couple of married (oy vey!) female friends gave me that advice when I was engaged to Bob. These were women who were happily married (at the time). I had thought at the time "Eh, who needs power in marriage? I am going to love him with reckless abandon!". And I do. And we are really happy. I am not trying to give anyone a formula for a happy marriage. I know it to be a blessing from God, and I am very grateful. I would say that after salvation, it is the number one blessing in my life that I never want to lose (remember, I don't have kids. I might be tempted to put them before my marriage if I had them, but that is another issue...) I even get how this might be useful in the early stages of dating, when rejection is a very real fear. Who wants to feel rejected and powerless? Ugh! How did we come to this place where people protect their hearts from their own spouses? I asked my husband, and he too was given similar advice "back in the day".
So, I asked my husband who holds the power in our marriage (ie who cares more). He replied "It varies....". Now THAT is a wise answer.
Oh, in case you are wondering, the movie showed the premise the quote in an unfavorable light as well. The moral of the story was....caring is good. Speaking of quotes, who is it that said something about the same stories being told over and over again throughout time? If no one knows, I will just claim that it's me.