Thursday, December 11, 2008

Giving In

I have finally done it. After years of being pestered by people to get it, I have finally allowed it into my home. It isn't so bad. It doesn't have to be a minion of Stan's right? I am talking about cable, of course.
For years, people would say "Why don't you have cable? There really isn't anything good on network television! How can you stand it?". I answer "My husband and I have only been married for _____(12 now) years! Why we are still practically newlyweds! We just don't have time to watch television! (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). " Then, while they were busy vurping in their mouths, I would change the subject to something more suitable, like covering your bible with comics in order to draw comment from unbelievers and then speak of the joy of the Lord to them. Nothing like talking about s*x and religion in the same breath to make people comfortable (that is what they get for questioning my taste in television! All who oppose me, feel my wrath!)
Mom was better at it. "Bob would love the History Channel....". "That's okay mom, he knows how to read."
"You would love having access to more mysteries and they even have religious shows..." "That's okay mom, you taught me how to read."
Finally, last week, after years of subtlety, she came up with the ultimate reason. "Helen, I want cable. Honor thy Father and thy Mother!" Two days ago, the cable man installed cable. What mamma wants, mamma gets (she is a disabled elderly woman who does not get out of the house. How could I argue against more channels if she wants it?).
My stubborn streak kind of regrets giving in to the vurpers. And I feel kind of guilty spending money on such a luxury when others have so little. But then, mom and I have enjoyed the Hallmark Channel together for the last couple of days. (yes, I am a sentimental slob. I am not proud of it, but it is who I am!) And Bob and I have watched some of the music stations.
Any suggestions out there for how to make the vurpers uncomfortable again? (Sorry Sherri. I hope Mr. and Mrs. Sherri's Parents still let us play together. We can blame Katdish ;-)....


Sherri said...

Only Katdish would truly know how to put a vurper in their place, so I'll let her tackle that one.

You will LOVE the food network!
24 hour recipes and tips! That's my favorite.

I'm really don't watch much TV, but the cable channels come in handy when nothing is on the major networks when you DO feel like watchin' (I would have died without cable during the elections).

Big AL loves the histoy channel and old westerns.

I love cooking shows, some talk shows (Bonnie HUnt is very funny) and like to watch our local news (IT was crazy to see our Governer's face all over the news on EVERY channel).
Oh well, enjoy.

Helen said...

I get to see the Governor's face on every channel, and have to pay money for this! Maybe cable is a minion of Stan's!
I do think I will enjoy Hallmark and Family Channel, at least during the Christmas season. What number is Food Network? I should check it out. But then you would know if I "adapted" their recipes and put it on my new blog...
And I'm glad your parents are still allowing us to play together!

sherri said...

Yep, my parents said you were harmless. The food network is probably a differnt number on your guide. DId they leave you one?

It desn't matter if you make exactly the SAME recipes. Your blog is entitled HELEN'S FAVORITE Recipes. Just tell where you got it and there's no problem!

Helen said...

Thanks Sherri! That is a good idea!

Annie K said...

Helen, I need your witty sarcasm over at my blog. Drop the vacuum hose and step away from the dust bunnies. They can wait. Tell all of your sarcastic buddies to meet you here..

katdish said...

Helen -

Welcome to the dark side! Mwha ha ha! I (of course) love HGTV. DIY is so/so. There's a show called "Clean House" on The Style Network that I love (cuz Neecie Nash is my hero.) And then there's Dirty Jobs, Deadliest Catch, Myth Busters, High Stakes Poker, Sponge Bob...Oh, the list goes on and on...

But to tell you the truth, unless someone else is watching it, I hardly even have it turned on anymore.

And Helen, I think it's okay to say sex. If not, sorry -- my bad.

Sherrie - you really are an atrocious typer! I think you're rep is safe.

WV - elato: Spanish word for late.

"Wow. I've got a bunch of comments to catch up on...I'm gonna be up elato!"

Mare said...

My roommate and I didn't have cable either. I only watched TV if she turned it on, so I didn't mind much, but I did find myself appreciating some more exciting stations if I were watching TV at someone else's house. A rare thing, but nonetheless oddly exciting when usually constricted to 12 or so channels.

Congrats! =)

Helen said...

Katdish, I was worried because a friend did a post on the meaning of sex,and blogspot wouldn't allow him to publish it with the word sex in it, so I just did what he did and use the asterik without even trying to type the word sex.

Mare, I know what you mean! Go HallmarkChannel!

Annie, I left some comments, but am letting more cook in my brain.