I have finally done it. After years of being pestered by people to get it, I have finally allowed it into my home. It isn't so bad. It doesn't have to be a minion of Stan's right? I am talking about cable, of course.
For years, people would say "Why don't you have cable? There really isn't anything good on network television! How can you stand it?". I answer "My husband and I have only been married for _____(12 now) years! Why we are still practically newlyweds! We just don't have time to watch television! (wink, wink, nudge, nudge). " Then, while they were busy vurping in their mouths, I would change the subject to something more suitable, like covering your bible with comics in order to draw comment from unbelievers and then speak of the joy of the Lord to them. Nothing like talking about s*x and religion in the same breath to make people comfortable (that is what they get for questioning my taste in television! All who oppose me, feel my wrath!)
Mom was better at it. "Bob would love the History Channel....". "That's okay mom, he knows how to read."
"You would love having access to more mysteries and they even have religious shows..." "That's okay mom, you taught me how to read."
Finally, last week, after years of subtlety, she came up with the ultimate reason. "Helen, I want cable. Honor thy Father and thy Mother!" Two days ago, the cable man installed cable. What mamma wants, mamma gets (she is a disabled elderly woman who does not get out of the house. How could I argue against more channels if she wants it?).
My stubborn streak kind of regrets giving in to the vurpers. And I feel kind of guilty spending money on such a luxury when others have so little. But then, mom and I have enjoyed the Hallmark Channel together for the last couple of days. (yes, I am a sentimental slob. I am not proud of it, but it is who I am!) And Bob and I have watched some of the music stations.
Any suggestions out there for how to make the vurpers uncomfortable again? (Sorry Sherri. I hope Mr. and Mrs. Sherri's Parents still let us play together. We can blame Katdish ;-)....